Working Women

I think this must be a very very very Asian phenomenon. Refer here for a wikipedia article on them in Japan.

Anyway, in this professional firm that I work for in Korea (not sure why I'm shy about writing the name down, possibly unwise to write down the name though online)  there is a large population of women who work here who are not lawyers. My conservative guess is that they represent at least 30-40% of the population here. I am only a clerk (intern) but I don't belong in that class. I'm treated as a member of the professionals and thus, treated as part of the "others" --- the ones they work for.

Anyhow, the culture is fascinating. They're all young; no one over 35 methinks. They're all very very very skinny. I haven't met a single one of them who has a thicker waist than me (not saying my waist is thin). They're so skinny though that I feel fat every single day. They all own a brand name bag or two. Their makeup is perfect. They're the OLs! Office ladies! The secretaries! A class of their own. They speak great English. They take pride in their work. They can solve most logistical problems; they really go out of their way to make your life better.

Yet, we all know that they won't stay here past age thirty-five. So where do they go after their stint here? I guess they're all gonna get married. Maybe they're here to scope out the males in the profession. Or maybe they're here to kill time, get a decent salary, and get married to their high school sweethearts. I don't know. I wonder if I would have ended up as an OL...if I had been raised here. Maybe not. But cute thought to ponder.

irrelevance

No matter how relevant a person was in your life once upon a time, once s/he becomes irrelevant, there's no turning back. You can't turn back the clock. Tick tock, tick tock.

I do LOVE Korea

Now the good stuff. I was talking to someone about this (I usually process my thoughts and run them through someone else before I can put it in writing) but this is what my take is: Koreans as a mass are terrible...individually, I think they are second to none (and BETTER than Americans). People you get to know individually really are gracious, helpful, and will go out of their way to make your life easier. As a mass, I dislike them. But once you get to know each individual at a personal capacity, the dynamics change completely.

First, my family. Of course family is different and I don't have non-Korean family but hear me out. My mom has four sisters and though they're usually all over the world, this summer, all four of them are in Korea. I love it! I think this is the best part of my stay in Korea-- the opportunity to spend time with my mom's four sisters. I appreciate them so much more than when I was younger. They have really gone all out this summer to make my stay here pleasant. I guess because I'm older, they've also been dispensing some of their personal take on marriage and their personal philosophies about what it's like to live as a woman. I had the opportunity to spend one on one time with all four of them and it's been great. They're great women. They are all so different from each other but the common thread is, they're proud of me and they care for me deeply (I really felt this...and it's the first time I felt this too). I think my relationship with each of them changed dramatically since the last time I saw them. Maybe it's because I got older...or maybe it's because we're spending more quality time together. Each one of them serve different needs. Number 1 is the caretaker. Number 2 dispenses advice and really just pours out love. (My mom is the third daughter.)Number 4 is the most practical and can solve any and all logistical problems within the hour (she's like the super secretary that people would kill for). Number 5 is like a friend. I can talk to her about what's on my mind and she gets me.

Second, the people at the law firm. I didn't really expect this...but I ABSOLUTELY love the people here. I love my secretary. You would think Koreans would be awkward people at the workplace. No! They're so friendly. They really go out of their way to make your experience better. They're gracious. They are humble and though nosy, they really do look out for you. Even strangers at the firm are so polite and make sure they say hi (and this is bowing and the whole package!). I might be a little too American for all that deference but it's really really nice. My mentor is a little too Korean-American to be in this mix but she's ultra-friendly. Okay, skip. Lawyers who have given me work have been absolutely wonderful. They thank me too much (I think it's a Korean trait...I also over-thank) and they take me out to lunch frequently. Anyway, that's work. Another great thing about work in Korea...is that because everything is so centralized and controlled, you don't fight or ask for work if you're very junior (and I'm v. junior). You would think this is bad...but actually it's good. You can't take ownership of your career early on...but this means that people will look out for you. You do the best job you can but you don't have to trample on other people to get the best work. Some higher authority will figure it out for you. It's all a mystery...and maybe I won't like this model since I'm pretty Americanized in how I view my career, but for someone at her second internship...this model is uber nice. You just wait for work and do your best when you get it. You also don't feel bad for sitting around. It's never your fault. It's just the way it is.

Third, my friends! I have quite a number of friends in Korea. Some of these friends were really close to me...some weren't. Yet, all of them have been so helpful. Jessica solved my cellphone problem within the first week I was here. My friend from middle school who I haven't met in over a decade and I had a great time talking. We really talked about the things that were going on in our lives...and it wasn't superficial chatter. Maybe it's me...but I really do appreciate it when you can pick up from where we've left off...even though we have time against us. I think it's something Koreans are especially great at. The ability to move on but still maintain that bond (kizuna, in Japanese). Maybe it's the language? The informal speech really does give a sense of friendship, closeness, and intimacy. I don't know.

And finally, I hinted at this from my post yesterday but this country is awesome if you're willing to spend some money. You can get anything done at any hour (almost) if you plan it out right. People will extend store hours for you if you tell them in advance. You can get appointments with doctors that work around your schedule (late at night or even on weekends). If you're dressed properly and have the right attitude (as in, snobby attitude), you can walk into any luxury store and touch and hold anything without getting any of the passive-aggressiveness you get in the states. People are ready to accommodate any and all needs you have. The people working at coffee shops are extremely pleasant too. (But you pay...tea and coffee here is so expensive compared to other things in Korea.) So actually, this final point isn't really a compliment. It's just an illustration of capitalism at its best (or worst).

I overwrote.

I LOVE Korea

So I needed to get Korea out of my system. And I can finally say that I think I got it out of my system. (And my English is going down the toilet...or I haven't blogged in so long that I lost my "touch".) Maybe some of you have heard some of my complaints. Actually, I'm a habitual complainer so you might have disregarded the seriousness of this fall out. But I will tell you for sure that I am no longer enthralled by this country and what it has to offer.

(Right now, I'm eavesdropping on a conversation where the lawyer is talking about how a client asked her to set his daughter up with a lawyer...and they're talking about a prospect who is not single and is short! Awesome. She's scanning the picture of the girl to send to the lawyer. This is ridiculous. I LOVE KOREA.)

I think a lot of Korean-Americans (I might be wrong) have this unresolved nostalgia for the motherland. I think this condition (yes, it's a condition) gets exacerbated when one goes for short and sweet visits that are a gross misrepresentation of the country and its people.

List of my grievances (I feel my blood pressure rising as I type them.)

1. When you're in this country to spend money, everyone will treat you like a prince(ss). But when there is anything that you need from anyone in this country, you will have to scream for it. They will never provide what you need unless you specifically and repeatedly ask for it (them). Nothing is free in this country and those things that are "free," you will have to SCREAM for. I love Korea.

2. A minority...but a very large one...will never follow the rules and thus make it that much harder for the majority to follow the rules. 30% of the people will always walk on the wrong side of the street/subway/road/whatever causing the rest of us to bump into them and get annoyed. I love Korea.

3. People on the streets will try to scam you...and even when you seem disinterested continue to stalk you (even if you have your headphones on and didn't give a single glance their way). I love Korea.

4. It is very very very hard to eat alone in this country. Everyone including the waiting staff will judge you for even thinking about eating alone. WTF. I love Korea.

5. People do not respect private space. They will not apologize if they bump into you. They do not react at all when you glare at them. Men always stand a little too close to you on the train and they will blow smoke your way on the streets. I love Korea.

6. People have no problem asking how much you make and have no qualms about commenting on your weight. I really love Korea.

7. Taxi drivers always tell you what they think. Ummm...I never asked and do not care? (Solution: talk to someone on the phone for the entire ride...in English.) Love Korea.



Ok, I have a lot of good stuff too...but getting the bad stuff out of my system. Good list tomorrow.  I do like being in Korea but I do not love it here. It's a good experience but it has been more educational than enjoyable. But I do love this country...in a sick sort of way. In no way was this entry supposed to be insulting or racist. I am as Korean as a Korean-American can get, afterall.

English going down the toilet.

No August entry?

Remedying the situation. For some reason, doesn't sound like English. Maybe it's not. English going down the toilet. Maybe.

two more weeks!

two more weeks and then I'm off home to pack for Asia. I leave for Asia on the 12th of August.

3 more Mondays at EY. One weekend in DC. One weekend in Orlando. And the third weekend, I'm already in Seoul!

birthday week

I guess I'm gonna celebrate this entire week! Had my first birthday dinner with Liz Yoon.

Happy birthday week!

July!

1/2 of 2010 over!

Time flies. Kinda. Not really. Okay. This latter 1/2 is going to be crazy!

new hobby!

making mud pies

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

C.S. Lewis

I love how this man wrote; he made so much sense. He made (and makes) Christianity seem so logical. But at the same time, he had so much conviction for us mere mortals to relate completely (at least for me). It's hard to find comfort when I am stuck in the slum making mud pies...and cannot trust that I can go off to a holiday at the sea. C.S. Lewis makes perfect sense but I cannot make sense out of it.

twitter owns me.

I can't focus on blogging because I have to think of my next tweet. I'm learning to be grateful -- or rather, trying to add plus-factors in my life to remain at (in) a happy state.

so much to complain about

but I shouldn't whine here. I've whined enough.

Been in the city for two nights, three days...48 days left in the city!

TBC.

last night in buffalo

I've been brain-dead for awhile. It was relaxing but at the same time, v. boring.

Last night in the buff. Kind of surreal. I will be back in August for two days before I leave for Asia.

I will now live out of luggage bags, eat terrible food, and be a nomad.

Tomorrow is an errands day in the city. Must go to Japan's Consulate, Korea's Consulate...etc.

Soccer today really depressed me. I had predicted a 2:1 loss...but a 4:1 loss was devastating. I felt ill after the game and went straight to bed after taking medicine for indigestion.

makeup

My roommate from junior year (college) gave this to me as a Christmas gift in 2005. The brick shattered after some good use. I finally opened my purse and replaced it. Took 4.5 years!

Also bought a dress for Liz's cousin's wedding. Ugh, weddings. Sort of like graduations...except it makes me feel sort of behind in life. But everyone tells me...no need to rush. I'm not even ready, but still...the "behind in life" feeling remains.

last week in the buff!

park ji sung

makes me proud to be of S. Korean heritage.

hard to gauge

it's hard to gauge how often to tweet.

i hope i learn the art of tweeting properly.

world cup! not sure if i can wake up early enough to watch the s. korea game. it would be easier for me to not go to bed.

기다림의 보람.

twitter

I started twitter (had an account for awhile but first tweet!) mainly to read famous people's tweets.

I wonder how long I'll last on Twitter.

My posts here are strangely becoming tweet-like.

I forgot

1) to lose weight

2) to learn Japanese

summer goal(s) FAIL.

mulberry!

ugh, internet shopping. materialism. but happiness! my new baby! alexa!

oh no

I don't want this blog to die! But nothing to really blog about. Hope all is well!

chore / accountability

I tend to be less disciplined when my blog is private. I write less. Blogging feels like a chore! Well, this is also because there isn't anything really to talk about. Except for one class which I took pass-fail, I got all my grades. No need to put life on hold! Hooray! I did pretty badly in one class but I deserved it -- and it was the floor of acceptability so I'll live. Life, bring it on!

so bad at accomplishing things

I used to have goals. I even had goals for this summer. I have yet to accomplish a single one of my very specific goals. Boo.

skull scarf

I want a skull scarf. Maybe, I'll buy it for myself on my birthday. Ohmygosh, I'm so bored!

no stalker

I privatized my blog. Tina just privatized her after hearing from her partner about online flops. I'm privatizing until further notice because my blog has become uninteresting. Well, that's because my life is really uninteresting at the moment. Another reason is...I don't have anyone at the moment who should (?) be stalking me. I'll open it up when I have someone who I feel should stalk me.

new discovery: kim kang woo

This blog is to keep track of my life for myself, right? Sorry for boring you with my new discovery. I just finished watching a twenty-series drama in a span of three days (each episode was more than an hour and ten minutes...yes this is the only thing I can brag about these days). I really don't like the main actor (used to like him) because he is not fit to act in 2010. Too short. Too girly. But I hit jackpot with this drama and discovered Kim Kang Woo (pictured right) and Philip Lee. And discovered a liking for Park Shi Yeon.

He was a total psychopath in this series but was pretty amazing. Now, I must watch everything he's ever been in...and maintain this obsession until I find another one. Then, I will abandon him or keep him in my closet full of past obsessions.

He acted with Park Shi Yeon twice. I must go watch the movie Marine Boy and see if I can maintain this appreciation.  They look good together. I guess there exists some special chemistry between specific actors...that make them do more performances together. Like Kate and Leo. They were even better in Revolutionary Road than in Titanic.

(Update: umm..just finished the music video that I posted before watching...it's cute until it gets a little inappropriate at the end...-_-)




My life update: not much is going on. Life is still on hold until I emerge from my house and quit staring at my laptop screen. How are you doing?

Day update: I spent an amount of money on an item of casual clothing that I consider unacceptable (actually it's not that much..I'm just cheap when it comes to spending money on casual clothes). I must wear it at least once a week in order to feel that the purchase was justified.

it's been a week

I think in weeks. I remember episodes in my life referencing it as a specific weekday. For example, I would think...the last time I saw that person was on a Wednesday around 4pm. And then for weeks, I would just keep track in that manner...two weeks ago today...three weeks ago today...etc. Seven is after all, a perfect number.

It's been a week since I left my Ann Arbor apartment...and Ann Arbor for Buffalo. I haven't done much at all. I've been a waste of space for the past week. Am I entitled (?) to continue this lifestyle for another week, you think?

new york, ny (yesterday)

I came back from NYC. Got my hair done. Went to the Korean Consulate only to be turned away. I have to go back next month. Had breakfast and lunch and dinner at various joints. Liz was our chauffeur -- driving us from and to the airport and in between! Awesomeness.

Saw Suah. Always a pleasure. Went to Ippudo. Crazy place. Wait was crazy. I would recommend going to anyone out in NYC -- the ramen was great -- but go with someone you lovee-- you have to do a lot of chatting during the wait. The pork buns were really good too...but I keep forgetting that I'm allergic to pork. Fail.

I'm having second thoughts as to whether I can really live in New York, NY. I realized that while I love getting things done in the city -- I don't like the mood of the city...maybe it's tainted with a feeling of dread and familiarity. I love the people in NYC -- but the sinking feeling ain't so hot. I don't know. I need to think about this but I realize that I will go wherever there are opportunities. In times like these, I can't be too picky! I will enter any (or most) doors that open my way,

I forgot to take my camera. I took some pictures with my I-phone but the battery died by the time I was sipping tea at my favorite tea place...Cha-an. I will definitely spend many days at that place during my seven weeks working in the city. If I'm nowhere to be found, surprise me there! (A challenge to any of my readers...who are curious/clever/charismatic/crazy enough to chase me.)

Topshop was a disappointment. I asked Sally and Liz whether I should purchase these shoes...they said no. Boo. Regrets. I should have just bought them and regretted buying them...rather than regretting not buying them...

Cupcake stand. So weird.

One of my favorite things to do in NYC -- sipping tea at Cha-an.

Have fun in NYC Tina Hoang!

buffalo goals

I'm in Buffalo..lounging until I start work on June 21. My life can't start until I know my grades from last semester. That's just how it works. My life is on pause. Yesterday, Prof. West sent the class an e-mail saying he had posted the grades and told us to e-mail him if we were impatient and curious. I am both but I think it'll be better for me to wait it out and see it posted online rather than hear it from him via an e-mail. But it hasn't posted!! My pride(?) doesn't allow me to ask him now. Should have done it when he first offered. Ughs. I'm really worried about one of my grades (not Japanese Law). Grades technically shouldn't matter anymore but I still have to write an application...and though I'm not sure what their threshold is, I don't want to worry about not getting in. Ugh, I'm almost 25! Grades really should be a non-factor in life. Period. Why does it still matter, why? Woes.

Buffalo goals:

1) lose weight?
2) finish 1Q84 volumes 1 and 2
3) start and finish Anna Karenina
4) practice my Japanese
5) make packing list for Japan/Korea
6) master the art of taking pictures of myself

jetblue blow-out sale event

For their 10th anniversary, JetBlue had a blow-out sale. They were selling one-way tickets for $10. So, without thinking twice, I purchased tickets to NYC this Wednesday. I will be in the city for a little more than twelve hours. I will get my hair done and go to the Korean embassy. And eat ramen with Suah. And drink tea at Cha-an. And possibly just roam around the city for a day! Yay!

i have internet!

My Buffalo home finally has internet! I have internet!

never ever trust law professors

that is all.

I am so glad I took Kyle's (Prof. Logue) exam pass-fail. I think I passed. Don't think I wrote a very good exam though. Whew.

Yay! Next semester, I will have a 4.0 semester. Every class will be pass/fail except for my research paper under Mark (Prof. West). Well...never mind. "Never ever trust law professors."

My life is sweet right now. I realized that Professors Logue and West have really cute names. One syllable first names and one syllable last names. Both their middle initials are D. I used to be torn about my fave-- but I've made up my mind. At least for now.

I am packing to move out! It's hard to pack up my 1 year and 9 months of Ann Arbor living! Hello SUMMER!

oh no

So much on mind but so little time on my hands. I must fall asleep reading my hornbook and pray that I get a C or above in corporate tax and get a PASS as my grade instead of a letter grade. I had to say my goodbyes to three people today! Sad but it's okay. Bittersweet.

I have a pretty privileged existence.

pass-fail option!

I decided to pass-fail my last exam. I am too exhausted. I have no confidence. I am burned out! Yay, best life decision this semester. I will not let K. Logue grade 10-credits of mine. He already graded 7.

MLcontinuestoS

thursday, please come.


doug, please be kind.

MLstillS

it really really sucks.

MLS

MLS = my life sucks.

Michigan Law School makes MY LIFE SUCK.

five years +/-

So sometimes, to make myself feel better, I allow myself lots of tv-time. Tina can testify but I have no shame when it comes to watching korean/japanese soaps in the Reading Room. I ain't ashamed! The amount of tv I watch is correlated in some shape or form with how my life is going. I watch a ton of tv during finals. I don't watch much tv when my life is uber-busy (exception: finals time) or my thoughts are preoccupied (exception: finals time). My tv philosophy is not...watch the most current thing...it's more like...watch a current thing and if I like someone in the show, watch everything he/she has been in (I guess the she is kind of a lie). In the beginning of the semester, a japanese actor who is five years younger than me captured my heart!

For the past few weeks, a korean actor who is 5 years older than me has preoccupied my television-time. He just came back from the army. He was a better actor in 2006 than he is now. Sad.

plus or minus five years. I remember being twenty. I wonder what thirty will be like. I don't think it'll be all that different...but I might have to act differently. Some will perceive me as so old. I used to think thirty was so so so old.

zero sum game?

when you feel slighted, you feel awful. how many people have I slighted in my life? Sorry?

anyway, this partnership tax thing is giving me a headache. the international tax exam that i took yesterday suddenly feels like a monster. i still remember what i wrote (and didn't write) for both that exam...and japanese law (which i took almost a week ago). also, corporate tax...another big fat elephant in the room i don't want to address. ugh, panic attack?

sloppy, lazy, and disorganized

I am too sloppy and disorganized to be a good law student. When I see how organized some people are...in their thinking and their outlining...and what not, I am ashamed.  I wonder if I am too sloppy and disorganized to be a good lawyer. I think I can do a good job being CEO though...big picture type of person? Okay, maybe not. But yeah.

In other news, I have two exams left! Byebye Reuven! Byebye Mark!

Hello Doug!

Hello Kyle!

Can't wait to say good-bye to Doug and Kyle. Then, I leave Ann Arbor for eight months and return in January of 2011. I feel sad but I need to leave Ann Arbor ASAP. I need to say good-bye. I need to wake up from this dream (nightmare?).

deferral?

When you take 5 tax classes, you start to hear the same terms over and over again...(good thing I took Japanese Law to balance things out or I might have gone insane).

One of the words I keep hearing/seeing is "deferral"-- friggen, taxpayers love deferring paying taxes on their income (trying to take advantage of the time value of money -- everyone who appear in my tax books are millionaires+).

Deferring payment of taxes might be good but what about deferring hope? Deferring dreams? Okay...I confess. I have nothing to blog about because the only thing I did today was eat and study. Nothing amazing happened to me besides figuring out how to determine a partnership's taxable year. Yes, I'm serious.

A few days ago (maybe a few weeks ago...the days are starting to blur) Tina sent me a speech...wrongly credited to Kurt Vonnegut. Here are some of my favorite lines from it:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You
will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at
photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much
possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You
are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead,
sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's
only with yourself.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children,
maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the
funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do,
don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

My least favorite piece of advice from the speech:

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank
statements.

FALSE. Keep your bank statements -- throw away the old love letters. What will you do with them? I love hating on the old and loving only the present and the always fabulous future. One day, you will become my old...my past...and I will despise the idea of you.

lost in translation

I tried to write an entry listing out my favorite phrases in Japanese. When you learn a language, there are certain phrases that are so awesome but once you try to translate it using google translate or your own skills, it just gets lost in translation. Too bad.

I saw Lost in Translation with Stephanie Yoshida last Thursday. It made me think a lot. Maybe sometimes...you just meet people who you connect with...and leave it at that. 


*

I want to meet someone (friend or friend+) who can identify with me in all the languages I speak...including politics and religion. I guess I am surrounded by people who speak many of the languages I speak. But how can there be someone who speaks in all my languages unless s/he was a clone of mine?

I re-discovered Kinki Kids. I remember listening to them on repeat during my commute to work in 2007-2008 to Newark. Music is weird in that it somehow stays trapped in your memories. For example, whenever I hear Tim Hughes, it makes me think of 2005.  Derek and the Dominos/Jason Mraz = 2008. Kinki Kids = 2007-2008. A lot of Mr. Children and Hillsongs this year.

direct correlation

On days I write long e-mails, my blog entries are that much shorter. There is a direct correlation. It's because instead of sharing my thoughts to you guys, I'm sharing it to one person. So when my blog entries are long, it means I'm mad lonely and wanting the world to hear me out! :)

Back to my studies!

7 credits down; 9 more to go!

ahhhh! they all end in TAX. ahhhh!

My brain is fried!

an examined life

in the literal sense.

so ready to be done with APALSA

Don't get me wrong. I loved being part of APALSA's e-board. It was fun. We got a lot done. Most of the people on e-board are my good friends! I loved being forced to hang out with them (though none of us are doormats and we made sure to voice our opinions/disagreements). But being a treasurer of such an active organization is actually a big.pain.in.the.butt.

I was basically a professional pay-the-bills-person. I hate paying my own bills. Paying APALSA bills so that members who spend money for APALSA don't go hungry or have to pay interest on their credit cards is a major responsibility. I'm also anal when it comes to other people's money. So, I guess this job was perfect for me but at the same time extremely stressful! I must make my excel spreadsheet perfect so that Sanjeet (my successor) will have a correct and amazing spreadsheet to work with. I love Sanjeet even though I don't know him. He will relieve me of my duties. I bet Barry (my predecessor) loved me last year around this time.

Freedom from APALSA-treasurer duties in less than 24 hours! I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Side-note: Today was an excellent day. Perfect last day before the onslaught of exams!

(ir)relevance / I want to be in your life?

I think becoming irrelevant in someone's life is always somewhat of a sad ordeal. I mean, it goes both ways. If I become irrelevant in someone's life, I'm sure that someone is also slowly fading in my life (Kimura Takuya's line in the drama "Pride" was that after each good-bye, memories of that person were like photographs that turned into the color sepia). The really sad situation is when it's not 100% synchronized (when one party starts earlier than the other party). I think good-byes are awkward because the link that allowed one to be relevant in another person's life disappears. I feel secure in a lot of relationships with some people. I know that even when I go far away, the link remains -- we can pick up where we left off when we meet again. However, there are good-byes that really do mean good-bye forever and ever. Becoming irrelevant and saying good-bye is something we do all the time. I guess that's how we get to become relevant to other new people (hi!). I guess if they were meant to be in my life, they'll be in my life...it happens. Wait-- I don't really believe in that 100%. I think there is a lot of human effort that is demanded in order to be in someone's life. Anyway, if they're going to fade out of my life, what can I do but express gratitude for the moments of relevance.  (Why is someone's a spelling error?)

awkward good-byes

I always find saying good-bye to be an awkward exercise. As a student, you always have to say good-bye. Yesterday was the last day I had Partnership Tax. Today was the last day I had Japanese Law (last class ever with Prof. West). Last week, I had to say good-bye to Prof. Logue -- or rather, Corporate Tax. The good-byes don't seem real until the final exams I think. Final exams serve as good formalities.  I've having a hard time saying good-bye right now-- but after I see what these Profs have in store for me via the final exam, I will probably say...heck yeah, good-bye! That's how I felt after taking my Individual Income Tax exam last semester. I have very little doubt that our good-byes will be finalized like a divorce decree the moment I see the final exams. DK, KL, MW, please be gentle. I still have two more classes with Prof. Avi-Yonah. I trust RAY to be gentle and kind. Anyway, this good-bye exercise is bittersweet-- but at the moment, I feel a sense of loss. Must.say.good-bye.

My friends (especially NC) are so good at knowing what I'm up to by what I write. Yes, I have been watching hours and hours of television last night (not 36 hours straight -- and I did manage to shower!). One thing television does for me is it puts me back into perspective. I learn how to have higher expectations. I also am able to take a step back from my life and analyze it as a viewer (which my mom told me to stop doing-- I'm too introspective, she thinks). I am uncomfortable with being alone -- but I know that I will feel lonely when I'm with someone who cares for me. No one will understand me inside-out. Maybe only JC. Bahs. Soul-mate, where are you? Is JC the only one who can understand and love my soul?

self-control

I think I have very little self-control. Well, sometimes I have a lot of it -- but most times, I have very little. Especially when there's no one else involved -- and it's just me, myself and I...I give in. When there's someone else involved, I guess I am too scared to show it all. But I get tempted to show my raw emotions. I am an open-book for you. But you're not trying to read me!

drama = reality ?

How off do you think dramas are from reality? Probably a lot...right? I just started a new Japanese drama (素直になれなくて- Hard to say I love you) and I had to pause it to blog about it. So, last week in Japanese Law, we read cases about sexual harassment (I learned that this form of discrimination can only happen in the workplace!). So Prof. W explaining a type of sexual harassment known as "quid pro quo" said the following tagline: "Baby, let me touch your hair~ I'll make you manager!" Haha, it was hilarious at the time.Well, I still think it's funny.

Anyway, my point is...those cases are 10-20 years old. This drama I am watching right now is current. It is an episode from last Thursday, the 15th of April of 2010. It's the first episode. I like(d) it. I like the stuff this drama writer has done in the past (Long Vacation, Orange Days, Beautiful Life...so many of my faves). So it's about a bunch of people in their twenties (I'm sure it's going to get all love-dovey and what not) but the part I like is how it shows these young people struggling in their professional lives. They're at the bottom of the food-chain and are stressed at being not that great at their jobs, run into major problems with colleagues and lament over their deferred dreams/hopes! My type of story.

So this upper twenty-something year old guy who works at a magazine publisher just got sexually harassed by his boss who is fat, ugly, and old AND female! Awesome. I mean, I don't condone sexual harassment in any shape or form but it's fascinating that in Japan, on prime-time, a 27-ish year old grown man is getting sexually harassed by his female boss in order to stay in the publishing division rather than the sales division. He cried after he had to kiss her. Instead of forcing herself on him, she asked him to kiss her. I guess that's how females harass males.  Dramas probably don't portray reality as it is -- but there's gotta be some correlation to truth, no? I may be delusional.

For those who are wondering, I had a fabulous time at Prof. Avi-Yonah's house. He had Zingerman's sandwiches and brownies for us! I'm done with all the work for that elective! Yay! Also, I made it to the 11:11am service. My life is complete.

preparing for a class on my Sabbath

I have a class tomorrow! Income Tax Treaties at Prof. Avi-Yonah's house. It's the Sabbath! Oh well. I have to attend class because I'm presenting tomorrow on Article 23 of the US, UN, and OECD Model Conventions (it's as exciting as it sounds). For the longest time, I thought this brunch at Professor's house ordeal/adventure was taking place on a Saturday. He had told us the date of the event in advance but it never occurred to me that it could be a Sunday.

I've never had class on a Sunday. It is also at 10am-12pm which means I can't make it to the 9:30 or 11:11 service. I have asked Michelle to drive my sister and Tina to church. I can't be their stumbling block and prevent their church attendance. Because I have firm conviction that my Lord is like a Korean-parent, He will understand that sometimes academics prevent me from keeping the Sabbath holy. Okay, I lie. He's probably not like a Korean-parent. But I treat Him like one all the time. Even though I aspire to one day truly keep the Sabbath holy, for the foreseeable future, I will spend Sundays playing catch-up, doing homework and studying. When will I learn to rest on the Sabbath?

I must now go read what I'm going to say tomorrow at the brunch-table. The topic is "Relief from Double Taxation." There is one thing I wish would happen today but it won't. My life isn't that amazing. My heart will continue to hope but I must lower my expectations!

bad life decision(s) / bld(s)

I've made some blds this semester. I can't name all of them for privacy reasons (and no Tad, the APALSA office is definitely not my favorite spot in the law school). Here are some that I can share and aren't necessarily bad life decisions in the long run...but for now they definitely qualify.

1) I never went back to my notes after each class. I didn't know I was such a terrible note-taker. I don't think I have all the right answers to my Corporate Tax problem sets. Woes, woes, woes.
2) I used one notebook for Corporate Tax, Japanese Law, and International Tax. They're in chronological order. But...obviously not very helpful when they're all mixed together!
3) I didn't read the IRC (BAD LIFE DECISION) but decided to rely on the casebook authors and their commentary. Maybe this was for my benefit. Reading the IRC is harder than reading the Bible (maybe).
4) I made no friends in Corporate Tax. Actually, I'm now friends with Ben Potter so...maybe I'll ask him for the right answers...

Obviously, you can tell I've been studying for Corporate Tax. Actually, I'm having a pretty good time. I wish I had known earlier that it wouldn't be so bad and tax could be fascinating. Now, I'm paying for all the bad life decisions I made during the semester. I can't shoot dumb questions to Prof. L. I must send smart, intelligent and reasonable questions. Ugh.

The lights came on in the Reading Room. This is when despair kicks in! I've been here for too long!

100th post!

This is my 100th post (even though it doesn't add up for some reason...maybe I have some drafts and private entries lying around)! I have nothing really interesting to say. I had a really good morning. After my last class with Prof. Logue (tear, I'll slowly get over it), I got myself a bagel, and sat against a tree in the law quad. It's actually not just any random old tree. It's my tree. I have a few favorite spots in the law school -- and the tree in front of C and D block of the Lawyer's Club is one of them. I ate my bagel and did some people watching...and fell asleep. I legit fell asleep for an hour against that tree. When I woke up, it was almost time for my lunch appointment with Evan Dunn and two Japanese LLMs! As I sat on the bench in front of the Reading Room (also one of my top fave spots), I noticed how beautiful the trees were. I was overwhelmed by the beauty. I'm usually not a nature-freak. My absolute favorite spot in the law school is a secret.

Anyhow, the lunch was fun! I had a great time. The LLMs are so down to earth and easy to talk to! I don't think I'm good for them though...I speak too fast for them. I'm so inconsiderate. If they spoke that fast in Japanese, I would have been so miserable. I guess I'll learn my lesson the hard way when I'm in Japan.

I'm such a moody person. My good mood started wearing off at around 5pm. My good mood lasted for a good 6 hours though.

I think one of the worst things about being single for a long time is (resurrecting my best/worst thing about being single in prose form!) because you are starved for affection, sometimes your expectations are really low. The best thing is that I can keep waiting for my "someday." Anyway, besides the singleness dilemma, my other dilemma is learning to be a grateful person as my Mom told me to become. Another wise person pointed out that he didn't know why I thought life was a drag -- I have a pretty privileged existence. Ben commented on my last post and I'll repeat it as my last liner for my 100th post.

Bring it on, life!

what o'clock?

I e-mailed my mom a few days ago saying that living through my twenties was harder than I expected. I was basically lamenting without using too many words. I told her I wanted to be thirty asap. She responded back saying that I was luckier than most and that learning to be grateful for where I was and what I have now would be the first step to finding inner peace. She's probably right. I am grumbling when I am so blessed. While I'm having fun for the most part, the twenties is semi a drag too. I feel insecure, alone, and generally dissatisfied.

I just read an interview of a Korean actress who is in her early forties. She has been acting for twenty years. The question posed to her was -- what o'clock are you at in your life as an actress (direct translation, sorry)? She said, she's at around 1:00pm in her life as an actress. She feels comfortable where she is and she doesn't feel the urgent need to prove anything. That was a pretty interesting question. I'm probably at 9:00am? Maybe a little earlier or later. Just around the time where things are starting to pick up...but it's too early to tell and I haven't proven anything yet. To myself or the world. I can't wait to be thirty years old. But at thirty (five years later), would I find peace?

"bad investments"

I've made some bad investments in people, both female and male. I didn't make too many bad investments in females -- maybe one or two lemons came in and out of my life. But there are some bad investments I've made in the opposite gender. I guess I can say this in hindsight because things didn't quite work out with the male investments.  So it might not be a totally fair assessment. Talking about relationships and people in this manner is probably not commendable either. Whatever. What's especially terrible about this is that because they're living and breathing, their mere existence is a constant reminder of how lame I was. I was lame for caring. I was lame for expending emotional energy. I'm not saying they were bad human beings (maybe one or two were "bad") -- they were just bad for me.

I will probably continue to waste my time and emotional energy on lemons only to find a future, more critical and rational me get incredibly and unbelievably frustrated with former me and all her bad life decisions (I plagiarized someone's exact words). Though I promised not to complain about my state, I still do. Two friends (newly made!) today told me something quite wise. I can't depend on others to make myself feel emotionally secure. If I do that, the moment that person withdraws affection from me, I'll be screwed. I can't give that much power to another individual. Yes. They're right. Anyway, I can't wait to strike gold! But is there such a thing?

I need to start withdrawing the affection and enthusiasm I've shown to the latest lemon(s) in my life. Wish me luck.

KORUS FTA (Korea-US Free Trade Agreement)

I need this to pass. Refer to bold, green text. There is nothing (no-one) holding me back in the US. Pretty-please, Obama!

Pending Congressional Approval

The United States and the Republic of Korea signed the United States-Korea Free Trade Agreement (KORUS FTA) on June 30, 2007. If approved, the Agreement would be the United States' most commercially significant free trade agreement in more than 16 years.

The U.S. International Trade Commission estimates that the reduction of Korean tariffs and tariff-rate quotas on goods alone would add $10 billion to $12 billion to annual U.S. Gross Domestic Product and around $10 billion to annual merchandise exports to Korea.

Under the FTA, nearly 95 percent of bilateral trade in consumer and industrial products would become duty free within three years of the date the FTA enters into force, and most remaining tariffs would be eliminated within 10 years.

For agricultural products, the FTA would immediately eliminate or phase out tariffs and quotas on a broad range of products, with almost two-thirds (by value) of Korea's agriculture imports from the United States becoming duty free upon entry into force.

For services, the FTA would provide meaningful market access commitments that extend across virtually all major service sectors, including greater and more secure access for international delivery services and the opening up of the Korean market for foreign legal consulting services.

In the area of financial services, the FTA would increase access to the Korean market and ensure greater transparency and fair treatment for U.S. suppliers of financial services. The FTA would address nontariff barriers in a wide range of sectors and includes strong provisions on competition policy, labor and environment, and transparency and regulatory due process.

The KORUS FTA would also provide U.S. suppliers with greater access to the Korean government procurement market. In addition to strengthening our economic partnership, the KORUS FTA would help to solidify the two countries' long-standing geostrategic alliance.

As the first U.S. FTA with a North Asian partner, the KORUS FTA could be a model for trade agreements for the rest of the region, and underscore the U.S. commitment to, and engagement in, the Asia-Pacific region.

The Obama Administration will seek to promptly and effectively address the issues surrounding the KORUS FTA, including concerns that have been expressed regarding automotive trade.

apalsa faculty lunches

I love APALSA-faculty lunches. APALSA gathers about ten students and invites a faculty member to eat Potbelly's with us in a classroom. It's a pretty informal gathering where the invited professor talks about his/her career path, research interests, and answers students' questions. Last year, I went to two of them. The first one I went to was Professor West's (obviously, it was amazing) and the second one I went to was Professor Margaret Chon's. This year, I also attended two of these events. I went to Professor Khanna's and Professor Laycock's (today). Here are my reviews! Obviously, the only really objective review is Prof. Laycock's lunch since it is still very fresh on my mind. Sorry about boring you guys. I use my blog for documentation purposes sometimes. I know for a fact that I had a wreck sandwich all four times.

Fall 2008

West: I doubt Prof. West remembers (about the event itself) but I asked him what my chances were at obtaining approval to study at Waseda. I was (as I am still today) one-track minded. The study abroad at Waseda program was one of the main reasons why I was so happy to get into Michigan (and one of the main reasons why I was upset at Penn and Columbia). He was pretty confident that I could go (and if there were any problems, he was confident he could solve them) and so I was very satisfied. He talked about his recent book about "love-judges" and it was highly entertaining. The lunch took place before I had to take Criminal Law with him for the Winter semester so I got to scope out my future 1L professor. Killed two birds with one stone.

Winter 2009

Chon: I didn't ask Prof. Chon anything but we found out that we were from the same neighborhood back in Buffalo! That was a cool moment. I took German for three years at the high-school she attended. She is a Korean-American who like me went to high-school in the Williamsville School District and studied at Michigan Law. I learned a lot from that lunch about how hard it is for schools like Michigan Law to achieve faculty diversity. I actually fell in love with her. I dragged Tina to another lunch event where she spoke about ...I don't remember what. Yeah. She was a visiting professor for the Winter semester.

Fall 2009

Khanna: I was taking Enterprise Organization (EO) with him when I went to the lunch event. It was pretty fascinating to hear about how he became an academic. So yeah, that was it actually.

Winter 2010

Laycock: I loved loved loved it! I actually had zero expectations. I was genuinely interested in the other three professors prior to the lunch talk. I have little interest in whatever he taught (he is leaving Michigan Law for UVA). What I liked about him was his personality! He talked about how he always followed his wife around to wherever her career path took her (and him). It was amazing to hear how he followed his girl around and was reprimanded by his own father for doing that. I wish I took a class with him. Well, not really. But overall, it was a great experience! He was also very gracious and intelligent when answering students' questions.


This is the last full week of classes! So many good-byes. Thursday will be the last time Prof. Logue will teach me. I desperately want him to teach a class in Winter 2011 that I haven't taken (there aren't any classes left that he teaches regularly that I haven't taken...unless he starts teaching the seminar Tax Policy Readings again). I would totally use my last priority for that...but I don't think it's going to happen. I don't know if I'm ready to say good-bye to Prof. Logue. I'm going to be so jealous when Sally and Tina are in his class next semester.  I'm not sure if tomorrow is my last day with Prof. Kahn. I'm not really ready for that either. Oh no. I get too attached. I still have next week before I have to worry about saying my byes to Prof. Avi-Yonah and Prof. West. It was an excellent semester.

dear dimwit (michigan undergrad student majoring in accounting)

There is no need for you to print out the ENTIRE annual report of whatever company your professor talked about this past semester. Not only will you not read the actual financial statements, you will most definitely not read the footnotes. You do not need to read the REAL annual report to understand your introduction to financial accounting class. I am 100% sure.

*

I am waiting to print my 7 pages of notes for Partnership Tax. I don't know how an undergrad got control of the reading room printer but the dimwit is printing an entire annual report (the most recent page count was 700). There aren't that many people I can give advice to from my own experiences. But I can definitely give advice to this dimwit. Stop killing trees. Even real accountants/auditors don't read the entire annual report when it's their job to make sure the financials look (or are...depending on your perspective on this issue) right. An accounting major definitely has no use of a real annual report. Read that stylized one in your textbook! What are you going to do with 10lbs of that thing? UGH.

In other news, I got a letter asking me to join a class-action suit against my former employer as a similarly situated plaintiff. More about that later if I care about it later. However, I don't understand how someone in the auditing profession can complain about being a salaried worker and not getting overtime pay during busy-season. That's the whole point of that job. Working to death during busy season and not working during every other season.

I marked it close to zero

Yesterday, Prof. Mark West delivered his SFF-auction service/event ("Mark it Zero") by hanging out with us at the bowling alley(for pictures refer here). He was fashionably twenty minutes late. I don't really know how to blog about yesterdays so bear with me. We all had a fabulous time. The outing lasted about five hours -- we parted ways when it become a chore to speak with each other around 2AM. Prof. West was pretty amazing. He sent us an e-mail after the outing with a youtube video related to each one of us. For me, he sent a link to a video titled "arashi laugh" from the conversation we had about my favorite j-pop band. The embarrassing thing about this is that I have seen most of the shows that make up that edited version of the video of Arashi members laughing. What an otaku I am.

I drank quite a bit and was gloomy by the end of the night. I can be a happy drunk or a pensive one. Too bad I was pensive last night even though I did have a great time! People were wondering if I was okay. I was definitely okay. Just glooms.

The bowling aspect of the event was a disaster for me. I had no intention of bowling or even bidding for the event...because it had the word "bowling."  If you know me, you know...anything that has to do with sports (yes, even bowling) is a no-no. Ben Potter had a great time watching me "bowl." This was our connection moment, I think. Prof. West and Joe kept teasing me asking me if I knew the point of the game was to knock down the pins...not throw the ball. Messed up. I told them to shut up. It was all good.Tina and Stephanie Yoshida were amazing bowlers! What the flip! Evan, Joe, Prof. West...I didn't really pay attention to. Average. Ben was pretty good. Sally was not bad at all! How?!

I think everybody was a little astonished at how consistently terrible I was -- maybe if Nick was there, I would have learned how to bowl properly (last year, he taught me how to play ping pong-- he is a patient teacher). This morning, I asked Sally what she thought of my bowling. She said, you were really really bad. Consistently bad. Hahah. I was really really terrible.  I knocked down 6 pins in one game (as in...the entire game...ten times you bowl or whatever, single digit score).  I improved to about 20-30 in the later games (all coincidence). Yeah.

Well, the embarrassing part of the story is from here (I don't know enough about bowling to feel shameful about my single digit score). After awhile, people didn't care to watch me bowl -- how many times can you watch a person suck? Even though it was a chore, I kept on bowling when my turn came up. If there's one thing Lily Kim is good at -- it's showing up.  So, during one turn, I went a little too close to the bowling lane...and as I threw the ball down the lane...I SLIPPED and fell on my ankle/butt! UGH. Major humiliation. According to Sally, Tina's mouth dropped and everyone was shocked (but dying...laughing). Woes. I stumbled back with a smile. It would be weird if something like that didn't happen in my woe-ful life. My ankle was fine last night (due to alcohol) but when I woke up this morning, half-drunk...I knew my ankle wasn't okay. Hopefully it's not too bad.

I must now take my limping self to the library to SPARTA.

my type

My blood type is B. After having taken the test several times, I'm apparently a melancholic-choleric. I'm exhausted. Today was a tiring day even though there were relatively few demands.

cold, sleepy and starving

Worst state ever.

Trying to find a comfy position to sleep in...but my efforts have failed.

Reading room chairs/tables are less than ideal for napping.

I've tried at least three different positions...but have failed miserably.

I give up. I shall start reading. 

salt-water drinker

There's this Incubus song that asks "would you choose water over wine." I think it's an Incubus song. I can't really remember.

My problem is...I keep choosing to drink salt-water (metaphorically) over both water and wine. I know what I yearn for will fail to satisfy me. Yet, I keep drinking salt-water. I know there's better water out there...but I keep drinking the salt-water. I am thirsty and getting more thirsty.

When will I learn? Why must I make the same mistakes over and over again? Is it how I'm wired? I am going through a quarter-life crisis. Nick diagnosed me last year. Yesterday, I diagnosed myself. If you'd like to diagnose yourself, visit this link. Who would have thought the desire to have children would be one of the symptoms of this wonderful condition? Oh, woes.

deal-breakers

I don't think there are such things as deal-sealers when it comes to people. I don't usually have a ding-ding-ding moment when I meet someone. The people who I'm close with and open up to are a diverse set of people -- they don't share one single trait. More importantly, their makeup of different traits and characteristics as a package are what seals the deal. However, they probably don't have too many of the following traits I consider deal-breakers. I wish I could say I have a higher standard when it comes to an interest of the opposite gender (in a non-friend way) but to my detriment, my threshold to endure their flaws becomes higher! I'm blinded by "love" and become too generous until I run out of love to lavish on them. I have stricter rules when it comes to friends.

In general, these are what I consider deal-breakers (however, I probably need to own up to a few of them...so easy to see the speck in someone else's eye even with the plank in my own eye-- also, a single one does not necessarily break the deal between you and me):

1.   people inconsiderate of other people's time. i.e., people who are not punctual.
2.   people who are stingy with money. I don't mind frugality (to an extent) but I mind it when you spend money on other random things on yourself and count your pennies when it comes to spending it on others.
3.   people disinterested in religion. I think struggling with religion is very different from being totally disinterested in it. I am totally interested in those fighting the good battle.
4.   people who are bad at eye-contact. I love to look at you when I speak. I love it when you look at me.
5.   people who are stingy with time (wasting fifteen minutes talking to me won't kill you. please don't get out of sync because of a minor inconvenience).
6.   guys who are picky eaters. I think one of the most attractive traits in a guy is his ability to chow down anything with a smile and without a complaint.
7.   guys who are too politically correct (i.e., refuse to open doors or pick up my coat because they respect me as an equal. LAME).
8.   on the other hand, too much chauvinism is a deal-breaker too but interestingly, less of a deal-breaker (can slyly be masked by or...as charm).
9.   people disinterested in what I have to say (why should I be interested if you're not?)
10. guys who are too good at the interwebz (please don't be better at it than me).
11. guys who have no ambition and/or intellect.
12. ridiculously good-looking people.
13. people who disagree for the sake of disagreeing (this is me).
14. people uninterested in politics (though there is a fine line between too much interest and just enough).
15. racists.
16. people who are not presentable enough to introduce to family or friends.
17. guys who suck up to professors (sorry, double standard).
18. people who aren't on my wavelength.
19. it's actually hard for me to become your best buddy if your political beliefs feel evil and unkind to me.
20. parasites.

Disclaimer: I had to think a little too hard (i.e., things that aren't necessarily complete deal-breakers) to make sure I had twenty. Why twenty? Nice number.

school-girl moment

I think most of my huge readership are facebook friends with me. So, last semester -- I bombarded everyone's newsfeed with my "Logue" obsession. I had a crazy case of mentionitis. I took two of Prof. Logue's classes last semester. And I talked about him a lot...I thought I had graduated from this school-girl crush this semester. Especially after many people caught on to the goodness that is Prof. Logue. As mentioned earlier, I do not like to remain on a bandwagon for too long because I am not good at sharing. I'm taking Corporate Tax with him this semester. There are very few professors I trust enough to allow them to grade 10 credits. Prof. West is the other one I'm gambling (trusting) on with 10 graded credits! (He is another story for another time).

My interaction with Prof. Logue is always off. This is probably my fault since I get too nervous around him and thus I come off very unnatural. I wish I could be who I am...in front of him! I am usually a very friendly, active, eager-eyed student (mostly for Professors Kahn and Avi-Yonah). I am cold and cool-headed during Corporate Tax (or so I think). I probably look bored, disinterested, or sleepy. I'm anything but those three things. But I was totally out of character in front of Prof. Logue today. Tina, Sally, and I went to lunch at Sadako. When we had finished ordering, in came Prof. Logue with another not-important-to-me-professor to have lunch. I was sitting with my back towards (against?) him as he sat at the next table. I had a meltdown. Oh no! Do I say hi? Will he recognize me? What if he doesn't? My life would lose all meaning. Should I say hi...or should I ignore him? Oh no, oh no!

I eavesdropped on his conversation with the other guy...but it was too intelligent for me to understand. A lot about tax policy, the President, constitutionality, statutory interpretation...etc. Yeah...I was being a total creepster and eavesdropping. When we paid for our food and stood up...I made up my mind. I will say hi! Ugh, mistake.

Instead of being normal...I waved frantically, rapidly...and said "Hi, Professor!"

UGH. SCHOOL-GIRL MOMENT.

As always, Professor Kyle Logue is so gracious and kind. He waved back (less enthusiastically than me but pretty enthusiastic on a normal-scale) semi-imitating me (with the five to six times wave) and said, "Hey, how are you!" He didn't call me Ms. Kim...so I have no idea whether he recognized me or not. He might not have...who knows.

I wish I was less of a freak. What a melt-down. Tina and Sally died LOL-ing. I must recover from this before facing him on Wednesday morning.

P.S. I have another important post to write. I also am not keeping my word...about placing a strict word limit on my entries. I apologize for the length of this entry.

easter sunday

I love Easter. It is definitely my favorite Christian holiday. I like it more than Christmas. Easter defines what I believe in -- that Jesus is my Lord and Savior and He has conquered death. Anyway...today, I was at church with six of my close friends. I love Easter.  Did I say that already?

I loved the sermon today too. It was simple and beautiful. I especially loved Pastor Hayes's sentiments of what would make his last moment in life ultimately satisfying and complete. It would be Jesus calling out his name. He related it to how it feels extra-special when people who love him deeply call his name. I think this is true. I love the sound of my name. Whether it is Lily...or Ms. Kim (haha).

It's sort of like the Avatar version of "I know you." It might be a fetish...this desire to hear my name called out. I love the sound of my friends' voices! Don't you love the way that special someone says your name? Having Jesus call out your name must just be that much super-er and better.

Liz left for Philly. Now, I must go study. I wonder why I can't take today off. Afterall...my Savior Lord has risen! I wish I could take it easy on the Sabbath and keep it holy. However, I have slacked off too much. Oh, the world and its concerns! I am still such a slave.

origins was so two days ago...easter morning post

I didn't want to spend another few hours (I won't disclose how many) to figure out how to get the pictures to post correctly.

origins was so last night...

But I need to document it in some shape or form. I choose to document it with pictures since I forgot all my sentiments/words. This is why I must blog religiously on special days. I had a fun time. All I remember is talking a lot. I hope I didn't make any blunders with my big mouth.

;

So there's something that law school guys or male lawyers have...that many other guys sometimes lack. Many of them have the ability to woo with words. It's not exactly the content...but the perfect grammar, spelling, and punctuation that makes my eyes sparkle...a little. There are a lot of things I don't like about guys in law...but if there's one thing I absolutely love, it's their grasp of the English language in their writing.I am especially impressed when they use semi colons in their e-mails. I don't know how to use them properly...so I assume they're using it properly. It can be d-baggy..but at the same time...amazing? Haha. Random post.

I must go to the annual APALSA Origins Banquet! I must get ready to look presentable!

illegitimate purchases

Tina is right. I was planning on blogging about what happened yesterday (my side of the story), but yesterday is old news. She said it's hard to blog about yesterdays. I cannot dwell on the past. My side of the story is the truth. That is all you need to know.

In preparation for Liz's visit this weekend, I went to Meijer to buy some beverages. I got some bottled water, cranberry juice, and diet coke. I also got myself these:

Seven boxes of Capri-Sun! That means...seventy pouches of these good stuff! My absolute favorite is Pacific Cooler. However, like all things in life...in order to remain passionate about that flavor, I must control its supply. Unless it's somewhat scarce, I will come to take it for granted...and my love will fade. Thus, I have only two boxes of the flavor...and five boxes of other flavors that I enjoy to an extent...but allow me to miss the goodness and perfectness that is Pacific Cooler.

It's sort of like...having your favorite class only twice a week. If you had your favorite class everyday, it will no longer be your favorite class. I think I need a boyfriend who's super busy most days...and available 2-3 times a week to date me. Then, I will enjoy every moment we spend together and every text/e-mail/phone-call would be that much more special. I love longing...even though it's painful.

You definitely know your purchases are illegitimate...when you're ashamed of them. When I pulled up to the driveway, my neighbors were leaving. I had to remain in the car for a bit...before unloading my seven boxes of Capri-Sun.

eyes hurt

My eyes are killing me. They're red. They sting. They sting so much. Pink eye....?!!! Stye? Something in my eye? Dirty contacts? Too much reading? Allergies? What could it be? Stress? I look like a monster with my glasses on. Legit.

shopping stress and technical vindication

I went to the mall with Tina and Sally today. I hate going to the mall. Shopping is stressful. Online shopping is so much faster and less stressful. We were on a mission to find a dress to wear for APALSA's annual banquet, Origins (buy a ticket!). I was so tired by the end of the shopping trip. I hate hate hate shopping. Shopping with a mission is also too too too stressful. I found a dress! Actually Tina found me a dress. Sally found me the shoes. I rarely try on things...but since I was shopping for dresses...I tried them on to make sure I didn't look like a hog. I was not in an ideal outfit to try on different clothes. Ugh.  Changing in and out of my clothes was a major hassle. I wish I could love shopping!

Back to e-mails. I wrote an e-mail to a professor who I don't know...to ask for money for his APALSA banquet tickets. I know he's a busy man...but it makes me feel insecure when there is no reply! Because I get so insecure about not receiving e-mails, a lot of times...I try to write e-mails where it could be a conversation-killer (last e-mail) or could be a conversation-starter...depending on the receiver's mood. But the e-mail I sent to this professor...was definitely..."PLEASE E-MAIL ME BACK OR I'M GOING TO FEEL INSECURE" type of e-mail. Oh wells. I'll never take a class with him and he'll never really have an effect in my life. Or...will he? 

I got fired up in Japanese Law today when the topic of "comfort women" came up and...I might have been a little on the offensive side to a guest lecturer. Actually, I think I was semi-offended by his casualness but as Sally said...how can I change someone's mind/consciousness about something? But, it was all in good fun...hopefully that man doesn't hate me. I regret getting all heated up about it...but what can I do. I want technical vindication. Is that too much to ask? Prof. West said, "good luck on that" when I proposed to the guest lecturer what my ideal solution would be (in the guest lecturer's words..."final solution"...this is because he doesn't know what connotation the term "Final Solution" carries) to this human rights issue. Technical vindication. Or..just wait until everyone who is still alive and was affected dies. It's only a few more years.

the e-mails I didn't receive...

So, I discovered today that I was not on the e-mail list for Professor Kahn's class (Partnership Tax...the one I'm always "fighting" with material-wise). I never received an e-mail from him and I wrongly assumed that...maybe this professor didn't use e-mail. Little did I know...that this man is an e-mailing machine. He e-mailed the class with so many explanations of what was discussed in class...and other administrative matters such as cutting down on reading...what's on the exam and such. SO SO IMPORTANT. Thankfully, a classmate has forwarded all the e-mails Prof. Kahn sent to the class. Now, I must go read them...out of context. Boo.

How did I figure out that I wasn't in sync with the rest of class?

I raised my hand today when he skipped the material I read and the problems I solved. I was so confused as to why he was skipping the material I spent five hours...(while facebooking, gchatting) learning.

Me: Professor! I do not understand how your syllabus works...I did a lot of the reading...that you're not covering in class...

Prof. Kahn: Ms. Kim, did you not get my e-mails?

Me: No....

Prof. Kahn: (kindly) Too bad! You should check your e-mails!

Me: ...

Prof. Kahn: Come see me after class!

MESSED UP. UNCOOL TO THE MAX. Actually, he was gracious about it...and understood where the problem came from. His secretary had failed to add me...because I added the class late.

Lesson: never assume that your professors over age sixty do not know how to use e-mail. Apparently, they're e-mailing machines. Prof. Kahn sent the class more e-mails than Prof. Logue! (And Prof. Logue...definitely is a spamming type).

hellos and good-byes

I just finished watching a Japanese one-episode deal thing. It is about "graduation" but the English word doesn't quite capture it. It's more like..good-bye...finished, next stage in life...etc. The storyline was rather blah...but it made me think. There's a couple...and the boy is leaving for Africa for two years (he's a photographer). He tells her rather last minute...and she gets very insecure and tells him that she's not up for long-distancing. Later, she discovers a box full of prepaid phone cards and a letter asking her to wait for him for two years. She runs and catches up to him...and to my surprise, tells him she won't wait for him. She tells him that he'll grow mature...and worldly during the two years in Africa. She can't pause her life and wait for him while he experiences life and becomes a newer him. She'll root for his success but she won't wait for him (when my English sounds awkward...it's usually because I'm translating my thoughts from either Korean or my limited Japanese).

I LOVED that. It was really sad but I loved it. It made me think of my life. Every time I am yearning to get of my comfort zone...to experience life and ready to say "good-bye"...there's another "hello" in my life that keeps me back a little. I get closer to friends...my life becomes less bleak. I rather enjoy life in Ann Arbor right now. I'm finally enjoying the people that are in my life. However, I must say good-bye. I can't pause my life. I have to keep going.

I love Ethan Hawke and most movies he's in. This is a quote from Gattaca (1997):

It's funny, you work so hard, you do everything you can to get away from a place, and when you finally get your chance to leave, you find a reason to stay. 

run!

전력 질주 수있는 시간은 의외로 짧다

全力疾走ことができる時間は意外に短い 


the time you can run with all your power is shorter than you expect (think)

-  it was originally said in a Japanese drama...I read the subtitles in Korean...and asked Sally for help in translating it into English. Google Translate was perfect at translating the Korean to get the original Japanese...but failed in it's attempt to translate it into English.


Google's attempt: Time can be surprisingly short sprint.

I'm in my twenties. I need to start sprinting.

my wednesday woes I forgot to blog about

These are gifts from J. Lafond. He came to Ann Arbor for the weekend. He gave these to me when I picked him up from the airport on Wednesday. POTUS playing cards and a shot glass that says, "Don't bother me. I'm crabby." He obvi bought them last minute from the airport. However, I still appreciate his thoughtfulness. Actually...I told him I expected a gift. :)

 I forgot to blog about what happened after I dropped him off. As I was backing out of a private road...I hit a red fire hydrant. Liz said..it was the red apple to my Snow White. Woes. Her humor doesn't impress me either.

Sally was utterly unimpressed. She said, "maybe...you shouldn't drive."

for the win...for the "children"

Losing was never an option. I did not plan on losing. I had a solid group who committed a lot of money. I was willing to up my commitment if there was a need. Losing was not an option.

We won! Professor Mark West will enthusiastically (?) bowl with us and buy us beer. Refer here for a discussion of my strategy. Because my own sister turned irrational on us...and hyper, I also saved some money! Sally abhors gambling but she was totally into the bidding. Loved it. We won the item for $700. Tina also blogged about it.

Professor West continuously told us that he was afraid that no one would bid for his item. However, this was clearly a misrepresentation. There was a 1L who was told the same thing he told me! Hah, he told me he didn't know who was on the other side of the bidding war. That was a lie!  Everything he says is suspect from now on...except things related to law! He totally drove the bid price up! For the "children" (according to him, the "children" are those law students who will work in public service).

Side-note: There is something I really appreciate when it comes to friendships. N. Chang and J. Coburn made me feel all warm inside the past two days. Even though one on one, they give me a hard time...when they are speaking with someone else, they speak so highly of me. I always notice it with Nick. He always praises me so much in public (it's almost embarrassing). Joe does the same. He is always willing to speak about me...give me credit...when speaking to others. I was pleasantly surprised when he spoke about my reserve price to Prof. West. Total <3

I took a picture with a very drunk and happy Ms. Hernandez after the auction.

P.S. I checked with the Professor. He has cleared his name. He did not know until an hour before the auction. :)