the "right" man?

"But what does it mean the right man? The love of your life? The concept is absurd; the idea that we can only be complete with another person is EVIL!! Right??!!... You know, I guess I've been heartbroken too many times. And then I recovered. So now, you know, from the starts I make no effort because I know it’s not going to work out, I know it’s not going to work out."

Hello girls and boys! The quote above is from one of my favorite movies, Before Sunset. I went to see it with Suah when it came out in theaters...and we hadn't seen the prequel. I think my entry will be somewhat related to what Julie Delpy said but I'm not going to refer to it or force the connection. I hope my huge readership is doing well. I am doing well. I came back from Toronto yesterday. I saw my aunt and my eighteen year old cousin. Seeing a mother-son relationship while they're bickering back and forth (about clothes and studying) was interesting. I told my mother what I would do if I was in my aunt's position and upon hearing that, she thinks I'm going to be a really strict mom. Haha, we'll see. Maybe I'll update my huge readership on that years later when my son/daughter is being too naughty and sassy for me to take.

Anyhow, I got rejected from Washington, DC because I am not excellent enough. Well, to be more precise, a government agency in DC told me I was not excellent enough. Now, I don't have to be all confused about whether I want to do tax work or not. I will do tax work! Decision made! Why are rejections so hard to take? Even dings that shouldn't matter piss me off. I was probably not going to be able to say yes due to a prior commitment anyway but it still hurt. But to make things better and sweet,  Kim & Chang told me that my wagamama arrangement of working for them in the later weeks of the summer for five weeks is "acceptable." YAY.

When my aunt heard that I'll be in Korea and that I would interning at Kim & Chang, she got very excited and called her buddies. She is looking for someone suitable for me to marry. I have no idea if she is joking or not. But after I told her I was 26 in Korean age, she had the look of panic. So, if she was joking, she is probably no longer joking. The guy that she scoped out is in Hong Kong right now working in finance. He graduated from Harvard and is apparently amazing but short. He wants a tall woman. So I am not tall enough. Hmph! He is not tall enough for me too! Did you hear that whole analysis? This arrangement thing to meet up with people your relatives/parents set up is so shallow! I have four aunts and two of them will probably be very active in the search if they become serious about the matter. Haha. My mom was very excited about the prospect of my aunts playing matchmaker to her now old enough daughter. I am just right for the "match-making market." She thinks starting at thirty is too late. Also, she said since I'm not competent enough to find someone on my own, I should get help. She said it more nicely than that with lots of love. Strangely I don't hate the idea of being forced to meet eligible(?) bachelors. Why not? 

In the Korean dramas I've watched over the years, girls and boys were always forced to go meet people their parents or relatives thought would be suitable matches. They always whined...and wanted to find true love on their own (in the plot, they already had a significant other that their parents thought was not excellent enough). They behaved shabbily at those arranged meetings and brought shame to their family. Haha, so the idea that I should have is that these arranged meetings are bad and I must find true love on my own. Maybe I'm much more skeptical about the idea of finding true love or maybe I'm just lazy. But the idea that someone who you can trust arranging a meeting with someone whose specs look good at least on paper does not seem ridiculous to me. If my family thinks these eligible bachelors are potentially suitable to be my match...I should trust their judgment and at least be a polite, well-mannered and presentable girl at those cafes in the hotel when I meet those men (in the dramas, these arranged meetings always take place in a fancy cafe in the lobby of a hotel).

On the other hand, going on these dates after sifting through one's family background, education, and career (and face! since you probably provide a photo) is probably a very shallow exercise even though I suspect that this weighing thing happens in the context of finding true love on your own as well. I get why it's sort of wrong and is distasteful to those lovebirds in Korean soaps  And getting a ding before I even get to see the guy's face because of my so-called "qualifications" would be hurtful. I was not tall enough for the hypothetical boy in Hong Kong. I was not excellent enough! Bahs! Anyhow, if I do end up going on these arranged blind dates, I will blog about them. Hahah.

That is all for today. I must go open a textbook in order to be excellent enough for all those eligible bachelors! Or...to be presentable in front of Professor Kahn.

I will embrace singledom!

Ugh, forgot to blog yesterday!

Until 2012, or at least until I hear that I have passed the bar (2011 August?), I will enjoy and savor moments with myself. No more lamenting! No more woe-ing! I will live happily as a single lady!

I will resume my lamenting in 2012.

this is SPARTA...(or Athens)

I'm at the med school library with Tina and Gene to find my future husband. Kidding. But really. I'm having no luck and lamenting at the wasted energy of putting on eyeliner and wearing non-sweats for this outing. I guess I'll just study (which is my secondary purpose for this library outing).

I borrowed some chalk from scary looking med school girls to take this photo. I quickly erased the subtitle quote because it was embarrassing and I didn't want the med students to think I was a douche-bag.

This is Tina taking over my video-gchat with J. Won who is visiting Duke. Tina and Gene became uber excited as they chit-chatted with J. Won. They really love Duke. Gene spilled water all over the desk as he said, "Ahhhh...I wish I was at Duke!!!" Lame. He is now back to listening to his lectures.

Okay. Now back to Partnership Tax for me. This field-trip to the med-school library cannot go to complete waste. I will leave as a better me with more knowledge of Partnership Tax and the general satisfaction of having at least tried to scope out the med school boys at U-Mich.

valogram from dean z's blog & going to the movies alone

This is the acappella group singing "my life would suck without you" for our admissions dean. This is the song Stephanie and Sally sent me.

I went to see a movie alone for the first time in my life. It was "A Single Man" with Colin Firth. I never saw him acting as a gay man. Tom Ford directed it. It had really good ratings so I had great expectations. As always, Colin Firth delivers. He is a phenomenal actor. I had planned to catch a show last night but couldn't make it because my mom called. I didn't want to tell her I was going to go see a movie on my own. But I also didn't want to lie.

Today, I almost missed it again because she called right as I was leaving. This time I was truthful and told her I was going to the movies on my own. At first she seemed surprised but later was extremely supportive. A friend asked what was the difference between seeing a movie alone at home and at the theater. I don't have a clever answer for that but I think it's sort of like the difference between renting an apartment alone as a single girl and buying (and living in) a house alone as a single girl. Not sure if that made sense.

There was a line that resonated with how I was feeling. The present is a drag. Colin Firth counters to that statement...what makes you think the future won't be a drag. I don't know. But I cling to the hope of a better day.

free lunches < 3

so I'm actually not a cheap person...or at least I don't think I am. I like spending money on myself and on people. Generally. But sometimes, there are moments when my cheapness surprises me. For instance, I love to attend meetings of clubs that I don't belong to because they give free lunch. Today, I went to the Federalist Society's meeting to eat a Panera-box lunch. This was one of the best lunches I've had at a club meeting. A whole Panera sandwich, a huge cookie, and a bag of chips! That club must be so rich! APALSA could never afford to feed the mass such an expensive lunch!

So as everyone knows, there is no such thing as a free lunch. In order to enjoy this lunch, I had to listen to a constitutional law scholar (I think he was one) talk about the Constitution and what he thinks Obama thinks about the Constitution. I'm sure he was knowledgeable and renown in his field but his delivery didn't quite capture my attention. Because I have some sense of shame and duty, I try to stay and listen to the whole spiel during these type of lunch meetings even if the speakers are boring and I'm done eating. If there's one thing I don't like, it's people who don't keep formalities. Even though my main motivation for attending the meeting was free lunch, I wanted to at least sit there for as long as possible and hear out the message. Thankfully, today I had a reason to leave early-- CLASS! Last time, my sister ditched me after finishing her pizza while I stayed to listen to a really boring speaker talk on and on and on. For a slice of pizza.

Also, another instance when I know I'm being uber-cheap...my inability to spend money on post-its. After having worked, I cannot bring myself to purchase post-its. They were free and abundant at work! I always tab my textbook with post-its when I'm at the library...because those post-its are free! How do people spend real money on post-its? Strange.


great thing about being single: I can have many male friends. I can also have crushes on professors without feeling weird (sort of).

sad thing about being single: after my male friends get girlfriends or go on dates, I have to make sure their girlfriends/dates think I'm either asexual/interested in someone else/unattractive in order to escape any possibility of wrath. Or...stay away from the male friend until he's single again. Girls are insane. Every girl thinks every other girl has a crush on their boyfriend.

friday night for a lazy single girl

great thing about being single: I can go to bed at 9:42 pm on a Friday night.

sad thing about being single: no one cares if I go to bed at 9:42 pm on a Friday night.