zero sum game?

when you feel slighted, you feel awful. how many people have I slighted in my life? Sorry?

anyway, this partnership tax thing is giving me a headache. the international tax exam that i took yesterday suddenly feels like a monster. i still remember what i wrote (and didn't write) for both that exam...and japanese law (which i took almost a week ago). also, corporate tax...another big fat elephant in the room i don't want to address. ugh, panic attack?

sloppy, lazy, and disorganized

I am too sloppy and disorganized to be a good law student. When I see how organized some people are...in their thinking and their outlining...and what not, I am ashamed.  I wonder if I am too sloppy and disorganized to be a good lawyer. I think I can do a good job being CEO though...big picture type of person? Okay, maybe not. But yeah.

In other news, I have two exams left! Byebye Reuven! Byebye Mark!

Hello Doug!

Hello Kyle!

Can't wait to say good-bye to Doug and Kyle. Then, I leave Ann Arbor for eight months and return in January of 2011. I feel sad but I need to leave Ann Arbor ASAP. I need to say good-bye. I need to wake up from this dream (nightmare?).

deferral?

When you take 5 tax classes, you start to hear the same terms over and over again...(good thing I took Japanese Law to balance things out or I might have gone insane).

One of the words I keep hearing/seeing is "deferral"-- friggen, taxpayers love deferring paying taxes on their income (trying to take advantage of the time value of money -- everyone who appear in my tax books are millionaires+).

Deferring payment of taxes might be good but what about deferring hope? Deferring dreams? Okay...I confess. I have nothing to blog about because the only thing I did today was eat and study. Nothing amazing happened to me besides figuring out how to determine a partnership's taxable year. Yes, I'm serious.

A few days ago (maybe a few weeks ago...the days are starting to blur) Tina sent me a speech...wrongly credited to Kurt Vonnegut. Here are some of my favorite lines from it:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You
will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at
photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much
possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You
are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead,
sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's
only with yourself.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children,
maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the
funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do,
don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

My least favorite piece of advice from the speech:

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank
statements.

FALSE. Keep your bank statements -- throw away the old love letters. What will you do with them? I love hating on the old and loving only the present and the always fabulous future. One day, you will become my old...my past...and I will despise the idea of you.

lost in translation

I tried to write an entry listing out my favorite phrases in Japanese. When you learn a language, there are certain phrases that are so awesome but once you try to translate it using google translate or your own skills, it just gets lost in translation. Too bad.

I saw Lost in Translation with Stephanie Yoshida last Thursday. It made me think a lot. Maybe sometimes...you just meet people who you connect with...and leave it at that. 


*

I want to meet someone (friend or friend+) who can identify with me in all the languages I speak...including politics and religion. I guess I am surrounded by people who speak many of the languages I speak. But how can there be someone who speaks in all my languages unless s/he was a clone of mine?

I re-discovered Kinki Kids. I remember listening to them on repeat during my commute to work in 2007-2008 to Newark. Music is weird in that it somehow stays trapped in your memories. For example, whenever I hear Tim Hughes, it makes me think of 2005.  Derek and the Dominos/Jason Mraz = 2008. Kinki Kids = 2007-2008. A lot of Mr. Children and Hillsongs this year.

direct correlation

On days I write long e-mails, my blog entries are that much shorter. There is a direct correlation. It's because instead of sharing my thoughts to you guys, I'm sharing it to one person. So when my blog entries are long, it means I'm mad lonely and wanting the world to hear me out! :)

Back to my studies!

7 credits down; 9 more to go!

ahhhh! they all end in TAX. ahhhh!

My brain is fried!

an examined life

in the literal sense.

so ready to be done with APALSA

Don't get me wrong. I loved being part of APALSA's e-board. It was fun. We got a lot done. Most of the people on e-board are my good friends! I loved being forced to hang out with them (though none of us are doormats and we made sure to voice our opinions/disagreements). But being a treasurer of such an active organization is actually a big.pain.in.the.butt.

I was basically a professional pay-the-bills-person. I hate paying my own bills. Paying APALSA bills so that members who spend money for APALSA don't go hungry or have to pay interest on their credit cards is a major responsibility. I'm also anal when it comes to other people's money. So, I guess this job was perfect for me but at the same time extremely stressful! I must make my excel spreadsheet perfect so that Sanjeet (my successor) will have a correct and amazing spreadsheet to work with. I love Sanjeet even though I don't know him. He will relieve me of my duties. I bet Barry (my predecessor) loved me last year around this time.

Freedom from APALSA-treasurer duties in less than 24 hours! I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Side-note: Today was an excellent day. Perfect last day before the onslaught of exams!

(ir)relevance / I want to be in your life?

I think becoming irrelevant in someone's life is always somewhat of a sad ordeal. I mean, it goes both ways. If I become irrelevant in someone's life, I'm sure that someone is also slowly fading in my life (Kimura Takuya's line in the drama "Pride" was that after each good-bye, memories of that person were like photographs that turned into the color sepia). The really sad situation is when it's not 100% synchronized (when one party starts earlier than the other party). I think good-byes are awkward because the link that allowed one to be relevant in another person's life disappears. I feel secure in a lot of relationships with some people. I know that even when I go far away, the link remains -- we can pick up where we left off when we meet again. However, there are good-byes that really do mean good-bye forever and ever. Becoming irrelevant and saying good-bye is something we do all the time. I guess that's how we get to become relevant to other new people (hi!). I guess if they were meant to be in my life, they'll be in my life...it happens. Wait-- I don't really believe in that 100%. I think there is a lot of human effort that is demanded in order to be in someone's life. Anyway, if they're going to fade out of my life, what can I do but express gratitude for the moments of relevance.  (Why is someone's a spelling error?)

awkward good-byes

I always find saying good-bye to be an awkward exercise. As a student, you always have to say good-bye. Yesterday was the last day I had Partnership Tax. Today was the last day I had Japanese Law (last class ever with Prof. West). Last week, I had to say good-bye to Prof. Logue -- or rather, Corporate Tax. The good-byes don't seem real until the final exams I think. Final exams serve as good formalities.  I've having a hard time saying good-bye right now-- but after I see what these Profs have in store for me via the final exam, I will probably say...heck yeah, good-bye! That's how I felt after taking my Individual Income Tax exam last semester. I have very little doubt that our good-byes will be finalized like a divorce decree the moment I see the final exams. DK, KL, MW, please be gentle. I still have two more classes with Prof. Avi-Yonah. I trust RAY to be gentle and kind. Anyway, this good-bye exercise is bittersweet-- but at the moment, I feel a sense of loss. Must.say.good-bye.

My friends (especially NC) are so good at knowing what I'm up to by what I write. Yes, I have been watching hours and hours of television last night (not 36 hours straight -- and I did manage to shower!). One thing television does for me is it puts me back into perspective. I learn how to have higher expectations. I also am able to take a step back from my life and analyze it as a viewer (which my mom told me to stop doing-- I'm too introspective, she thinks). I am uncomfortable with being alone -- but I know that I will feel lonely when I'm with someone who cares for me. No one will understand me inside-out. Maybe only JC. Bahs. Soul-mate, where are you? Is JC the only one who can understand and love my soul?

self-control

I think I have very little self-control. Well, sometimes I have a lot of it -- but most times, I have very little. Especially when there's no one else involved -- and it's just me, myself and I...I give in. When there's someone else involved, I guess I am too scared to show it all. But I get tempted to show my raw emotions. I am an open-book for you. But you're not trying to read me!

drama = reality ?

How off do you think dramas are from reality? Probably a lot...right? I just started a new Japanese drama (素直になれなくて- Hard to say I love you) and I had to pause it to blog about it. So, last week in Japanese Law, we read cases about sexual harassment (I learned that this form of discrimination can only happen in the workplace!). So Prof. W explaining a type of sexual harassment known as "quid pro quo" said the following tagline: "Baby, let me touch your hair~ I'll make you manager!" Haha, it was hilarious at the time.Well, I still think it's funny.

Anyway, my point is...those cases are 10-20 years old. This drama I am watching right now is current. It is an episode from last Thursday, the 15th of April of 2010. It's the first episode. I like(d) it. I like the stuff this drama writer has done in the past (Long Vacation, Orange Days, Beautiful Life...so many of my faves). So it's about a bunch of people in their twenties (I'm sure it's going to get all love-dovey and what not) but the part I like is how it shows these young people struggling in their professional lives. They're at the bottom of the food-chain and are stressed at being not that great at their jobs, run into major problems with colleagues and lament over their deferred dreams/hopes! My type of story.

So this upper twenty-something year old guy who works at a magazine publisher just got sexually harassed by his boss who is fat, ugly, and old AND female! Awesome. I mean, I don't condone sexual harassment in any shape or form but it's fascinating that in Japan, on prime-time, a 27-ish year old grown man is getting sexually harassed by his female boss in order to stay in the publishing division rather than the sales division. He cried after he had to kiss her. Instead of forcing herself on him, she asked him to kiss her. I guess that's how females harass males.  Dramas probably don't portray reality as it is -- but there's gotta be some correlation to truth, no? I may be delusional.

For those who are wondering, I had a fabulous time at Prof. Avi-Yonah's house. He had Zingerman's sandwiches and brownies for us! I'm done with all the work for that elective! Yay! Also, I made it to the 11:11am service. My life is complete.

preparing for a class on my Sabbath

I have a class tomorrow! Income Tax Treaties at Prof. Avi-Yonah's house. It's the Sabbath! Oh well. I have to attend class because I'm presenting tomorrow on Article 23 of the US, UN, and OECD Model Conventions (it's as exciting as it sounds). For the longest time, I thought this brunch at Professor's house ordeal/adventure was taking place on a Saturday. He had told us the date of the event in advance but it never occurred to me that it could be a Sunday.

I've never had class on a Sunday. It is also at 10am-12pm which means I can't make it to the 9:30 or 11:11 service. I have asked Michelle to drive my sister and Tina to church. I can't be their stumbling block and prevent their church attendance. Because I have firm conviction that my Lord is like a Korean-parent, He will understand that sometimes academics prevent me from keeping the Sabbath holy. Okay, I lie. He's probably not like a Korean-parent. But I treat Him like one all the time. Even though I aspire to one day truly keep the Sabbath holy, for the foreseeable future, I will spend Sundays playing catch-up, doing homework and studying. When will I learn to rest on the Sabbath?

I must now go read what I'm going to say tomorrow at the brunch-table. The topic is "Relief from Double Taxation." There is one thing I wish would happen today but it won't. My life isn't that amazing. My heart will continue to hope but I must lower my expectations!

bad life decision(s) / bld(s)

I've made some blds this semester. I can't name all of them for privacy reasons (and no Tad, the APALSA office is definitely not my favorite spot in the law school). Here are some that I can share and aren't necessarily bad life decisions in the long run...but for now they definitely qualify.

1) I never went back to my notes after each class. I didn't know I was such a terrible note-taker. I don't think I have all the right answers to my Corporate Tax problem sets. Woes, woes, woes.
2) I used one notebook for Corporate Tax, Japanese Law, and International Tax. They're in chronological order. But...obviously not very helpful when they're all mixed together!
3) I didn't read the IRC (BAD LIFE DECISION) but decided to rely on the casebook authors and their commentary. Maybe this was for my benefit. Reading the IRC is harder than reading the Bible (maybe).
4) I made no friends in Corporate Tax. Actually, I'm now friends with Ben Potter so...maybe I'll ask him for the right answers...

Obviously, you can tell I've been studying for Corporate Tax. Actually, I'm having a pretty good time. I wish I had known earlier that it wouldn't be so bad and tax could be fascinating. Now, I'm paying for all the bad life decisions I made during the semester. I can't shoot dumb questions to Prof. L. I must send smart, intelligent and reasonable questions. Ugh.

The lights came on in the Reading Room. This is when despair kicks in! I've been here for too long!

100th post!

This is my 100th post (even though it doesn't add up for some reason...maybe I have some drafts and private entries lying around)! I have nothing really interesting to say. I had a really good morning. After my last class with Prof. Logue (tear, I'll slowly get over it), I got myself a bagel, and sat against a tree in the law quad. It's actually not just any random old tree. It's my tree. I have a few favorite spots in the law school -- and the tree in front of C and D block of the Lawyer's Club is one of them. I ate my bagel and did some people watching...and fell asleep. I legit fell asleep for an hour against that tree. When I woke up, it was almost time for my lunch appointment with Evan Dunn and two Japanese LLMs! As I sat on the bench in front of the Reading Room (also one of my top fave spots), I noticed how beautiful the trees were. I was overwhelmed by the beauty. I'm usually not a nature-freak. My absolute favorite spot in the law school is a secret.

Anyhow, the lunch was fun! I had a great time. The LLMs are so down to earth and easy to talk to! I don't think I'm good for them though...I speak too fast for them. I'm so inconsiderate. If they spoke that fast in Japanese, I would have been so miserable. I guess I'll learn my lesson the hard way when I'm in Japan.

I'm such a moody person. My good mood started wearing off at around 5pm. My good mood lasted for a good 6 hours though.

I think one of the worst things about being single for a long time is (resurrecting my best/worst thing about being single in prose form!) because you are starved for affection, sometimes your expectations are really low. The best thing is that I can keep waiting for my "someday." Anyway, besides the singleness dilemma, my other dilemma is learning to be a grateful person as my Mom told me to become. Another wise person pointed out that he didn't know why I thought life was a drag -- I have a pretty privileged existence. Ben commented on my last post and I'll repeat it as my last liner for my 100th post.

Bring it on, life!

what o'clock?

I e-mailed my mom a few days ago saying that living through my twenties was harder than I expected. I was basically lamenting without using too many words. I told her I wanted to be thirty asap. She responded back saying that I was luckier than most and that learning to be grateful for where I was and what I have now would be the first step to finding inner peace. She's probably right. I am grumbling when I am so blessed. While I'm having fun for the most part, the twenties is semi a drag too. I feel insecure, alone, and generally dissatisfied.

I just read an interview of a Korean actress who is in her early forties. She has been acting for twenty years. The question posed to her was -- what o'clock are you at in your life as an actress (direct translation, sorry)? She said, she's at around 1:00pm in her life as an actress. She feels comfortable where she is and she doesn't feel the urgent need to prove anything. That was a pretty interesting question. I'm probably at 9:00am? Maybe a little earlier or later. Just around the time where things are starting to pick up...but it's too early to tell and I haven't proven anything yet. To myself or the world. I can't wait to be thirty years old. But at thirty (five years later), would I find peace?

"bad investments"

I've made some bad investments in people, both female and male. I didn't make too many bad investments in females -- maybe one or two lemons came in and out of my life. But there are some bad investments I've made in the opposite gender. I guess I can say this in hindsight because things didn't quite work out with the male investments.  So it might not be a totally fair assessment. Talking about relationships and people in this manner is probably not commendable either. Whatever. What's especially terrible about this is that because they're living and breathing, their mere existence is a constant reminder of how lame I was. I was lame for caring. I was lame for expending emotional energy. I'm not saying they were bad human beings (maybe one or two were "bad") -- they were just bad for me.

I will probably continue to waste my time and emotional energy on lemons only to find a future, more critical and rational me get incredibly and unbelievably frustrated with former me and all her bad life decisions (I plagiarized someone's exact words). Though I promised not to complain about my state, I still do. Two friends (newly made!) today told me something quite wise. I can't depend on others to make myself feel emotionally secure. If I do that, the moment that person withdraws affection from me, I'll be screwed. I can't give that much power to another individual. Yes. They're right. Anyway, I can't wait to strike gold! But is there such a thing?

I need to start withdrawing the affection and enthusiasm I've shown to the latest lemon(s) in my life. Wish me luck.

KORUS FTA (Korea-US Free Trade Agreement)

I need this to pass. Refer to bold, green text. There is nothing (no-one) holding me back in the US. Pretty-please, Obama!

Pending Congressional Approval

The United States and the Republic of Korea signed the United States-Korea Free Trade Agreement (KORUS FTA) on June 30, 2007. If approved, the Agreement would be the United States' most commercially significant free trade agreement in more than 16 years.

The U.S. International Trade Commission estimates that the reduction of Korean tariffs and tariff-rate quotas on goods alone would add $10 billion to $12 billion to annual U.S. Gross Domestic Product and around $10 billion to annual merchandise exports to Korea.

Under the FTA, nearly 95 percent of bilateral trade in consumer and industrial products would become duty free within three years of the date the FTA enters into force, and most remaining tariffs would be eliminated within 10 years.

For agricultural products, the FTA would immediately eliminate or phase out tariffs and quotas on a broad range of products, with almost two-thirds (by value) of Korea's agriculture imports from the United States becoming duty free upon entry into force.

For services, the FTA would provide meaningful market access commitments that extend across virtually all major service sectors, including greater and more secure access for international delivery services and the opening up of the Korean market for foreign legal consulting services.

In the area of financial services, the FTA would increase access to the Korean market and ensure greater transparency and fair treatment for U.S. suppliers of financial services. The FTA would address nontariff barriers in a wide range of sectors and includes strong provisions on competition policy, labor and environment, and transparency and regulatory due process.

The KORUS FTA would also provide U.S. suppliers with greater access to the Korean government procurement market. In addition to strengthening our economic partnership, the KORUS FTA would help to solidify the two countries' long-standing geostrategic alliance.

As the first U.S. FTA with a North Asian partner, the KORUS FTA could be a model for trade agreements for the rest of the region, and underscore the U.S. commitment to, and engagement in, the Asia-Pacific region.

The Obama Administration will seek to promptly and effectively address the issues surrounding the KORUS FTA, including concerns that have been expressed regarding automotive trade.

apalsa faculty lunches

I love APALSA-faculty lunches. APALSA gathers about ten students and invites a faculty member to eat Potbelly's with us in a classroom. It's a pretty informal gathering where the invited professor talks about his/her career path, research interests, and answers students' questions. Last year, I went to two of them. The first one I went to was Professor West's (obviously, it was amazing) and the second one I went to was Professor Margaret Chon's. This year, I also attended two of these events. I went to Professor Khanna's and Professor Laycock's (today). Here are my reviews! Obviously, the only really objective review is Prof. Laycock's lunch since it is still very fresh on my mind. Sorry about boring you guys. I use my blog for documentation purposes sometimes. I know for a fact that I had a wreck sandwich all four times.

Fall 2008

West: I doubt Prof. West remembers (about the event itself) but I asked him what my chances were at obtaining approval to study at Waseda. I was (as I am still today) one-track minded. The study abroad at Waseda program was one of the main reasons why I was so happy to get into Michigan (and one of the main reasons why I was upset at Penn and Columbia). He was pretty confident that I could go (and if there were any problems, he was confident he could solve them) and so I was very satisfied. He talked about his recent book about "love-judges" and it was highly entertaining. The lunch took place before I had to take Criminal Law with him for the Winter semester so I got to scope out my future 1L professor. Killed two birds with one stone.

Winter 2009

Chon: I didn't ask Prof. Chon anything but we found out that we were from the same neighborhood back in Buffalo! That was a cool moment. I took German for three years at the high-school she attended. She is a Korean-American who like me went to high-school in the Williamsville School District and studied at Michigan Law. I learned a lot from that lunch about how hard it is for schools like Michigan Law to achieve faculty diversity. I actually fell in love with her. I dragged Tina to another lunch event where she spoke about ...I don't remember what. Yeah. She was a visiting professor for the Winter semester.

Fall 2009

Khanna: I was taking Enterprise Organization (EO) with him when I went to the lunch event. It was pretty fascinating to hear about how he became an academic. So yeah, that was it actually.

Winter 2010

Laycock: I loved loved loved it! I actually had zero expectations. I was genuinely interested in the other three professors prior to the lunch talk. I have little interest in whatever he taught (he is leaving Michigan Law for UVA). What I liked about him was his personality! He talked about how he always followed his wife around to wherever her career path took her (and him). It was amazing to hear how he followed his girl around and was reprimanded by his own father for doing that. I wish I took a class with him. Well, not really. But overall, it was a great experience! He was also very gracious and intelligent when answering students' questions.


This is the last full week of classes! So many good-byes. Thursday will be the last time Prof. Logue will teach me. I desperately want him to teach a class in Winter 2011 that I haven't taken (there aren't any classes left that he teaches regularly that I haven't taken...unless he starts teaching the seminar Tax Policy Readings again). I would totally use my last priority for that...but I don't think it's going to happen. I don't know if I'm ready to say good-bye to Prof. Logue. I'm going to be so jealous when Sally and Tina are in his class next semester.  I'm not sure if tomorrow is my last day with Prof. Kahn. I'm not really ready for that either. Oh no. I get too attached. I still have next week before I have to worry about saying my byes to Prof. Avi-Yonah and Prof. West. It was an excellent semester.

dear dimwit (michigan undergrad student majoring in accounting)

There is no need for you to print out the ENTIRE annual report of whatever company your professor talked about this past semester. Not only will you not read the actual financial statements, you will most definitely not read the footnotes. You do not need to read the REAL annual report to understand your introduction to financial accounting class. I am 100% sure.

*

I am waiting to print my 7 pages of notes for Partnership Tax. I don't know how an undergrad got control of the reading room printer but the dimwit is printing an entire annual report (the most recent page count was 700). There aren't that many people I can give advice to from my own experiences. But I can definitely give advice to this dimwit. Stop killing trees. Even real accountants/auditors don't read the entire annual report when it's their job to make sure the financials look (or are...depending on your perspective on this issue) right. An accounting major definitely has no use of a real annual report. Read that stylized one in your textbook! What are you going to do with 10lbs of that thing? UGH.

In other news, I got a letter asking me to join a class-action suit against my former employer as a similarly situated plaintiff. More about that later if I care about it later. However, I don't understand how someone in the auditing profession can complain about being a salaried worker and not getting overtime pay during busy-season. That's the whole point of that job. Working to death during busy season and not working during every other season.

I marked it close to zero

Yesterday, Prof. Mark West delivered his SFF-auction service/event ("Mark it Zero") by hanging out with us at the bowling alley(for pictures refer here). He was fashionably twenty minutes late. I don't really know how to blog about yesterdays so bear with me. We all had a fabulous time. The outing lasted about five hours -- we parted ways when it become a chore to speak with each other around 2AM. Prof. West was pretty amazing. He sent us an e-mail after the outing with a youtube video related to each one of us. For me, he sent a link to a video titled "arashi laugh" from the conversation we had about my favorite j-pop band. The embarrassing thing about this is that I have seen most of the shows that make up that edited version of the video of Arashi members laughing. What an otaku I am.

I drank quite a bit and was gloomy by the end of the night. I can be a happy drunk or a pensive one. Too bad I was pensive last night even though I did have a great time! People were wondering if I was okay. I was definitely okay. Just glooms.

The bowling aspect of the event was a disaster for me. I had no intention of bowling or even bidding for the event...because it had the word "bowling."  If you know me, you know...anything that has to do with sports (yes, even bowling) is a no-no. Ben Potter had a great time watching me "bowl." This was our connection moment, I think. Prof. West and Joe kept teasing me asking me if I knew the point of the game was to knock down the pins...not throw the ball. Messed up. I told them to shut up. It was all good.Tina and Stephanie Yoshida were amazing bowlers! What the flip! Evan, Joe, Prof. West...I didn't really pay attention to. Average. Ben was pretty good. Sally was not bad at all! How?!

I think everybody was a little astonished at how consistently terrible I was -- maybe if Nick was there, I would have learned how to bowl properly (last year, he taught me how to play ping pong-- he is a patient teacher). This morning, I asked Sally what she thought of my bowling. She said, you were really really bad. Consistently bad. Hahah. I was really really terrible.  I knocked down 6 pins in one game (as in...the entire game...ten times you bowl or whatever, single digit score).  I improved to about 20-30 in the later games (all coincidence). Yeah.

Well, the embarrassing part of the story is from here (I don't know enough about bowling to feel shameful about my single digit score). After awhile, people didn't care to watch me bowl -- how many times can you watch a person suck? Even though it was a chore, I kept on bowling when my turn came up. If there's one thing Lily Kim is good at -- it's showing up.  So, during one turn, I went a little too close to the bowling lane...and as I threw the ball down the lane...I SLIPPED and fell on my ankle/butt! UGH. Major humiliation. According to Sally, Tina's mouth dropped and everyone was shocked (but dying...laughing). Woes. I stumbled back with a smile. It would be weird if something like that didn't happen in my woe-ful life. My ankle was fine last night (due to alcohol) but when I woke up this morning, half-drunk...I knew my ankle wasn't okay. Hopefully it's not too bad.

I must now take my limping self to the library to SPARTA.

my type

My blood type is B. After having taken the test several times, I'm apparently a melancholic-choleric. I'm exhausted. Today was a tiring day even though there were relatively few demands.

cold, sleepy and starving

Worst state ever.

Trying to find a comfy position to sleep in...but my efforts have failed.

Reading room chairs/tables are less than ideal for napping.

I've tried at least three different positions...but have failed miserably.

I give up. I shall start reading. 

salt-water drinker

There's this Incubus song that asks "would you choose water over wine." I think it's an Incubus song. I can't really remember.

My problem is...I keep choosing to drink salt-water (metaphorically) over both water and wine. I know what I yearn for will fail to satisfy me. Yet, I keep drinking salt-water. I know there's better water out there...but I keep drinking the salt-water. I am thirsty and getting more thirsty.

When will I learn? Why must I make the same mistakes over and over again? Is it how I'm wired? I am going through a quarter-life crisis. Nick diagnosed me last year. Yesterday, I diagnosed myself. If you'd like to diagnose yourself, visit this link. Who would have thought the desire to have children would be one of the symptoms of this wonderful condition? Oh, woes.

deal-breakers

I don't think there are such things as deal-sealers when it comes to people. I don't usually have a ding-ding-ding moment when I meet someone. The people who I'm close with and open up to are a diverse set of people -- they don't share one single trait. More importantly, their makeup of different traits and characteristics as a package are what seals the deal. However, they probably don't have too many of the following traits I consider deal-breakers. I wish I could say I have a higher standard when it comes to an interest of the opposite gender (in a non-friend way) but to my detriment, my threshold to endure their flaws becomes higher! I'm blinded by "love" and become too generous until I run out of love to lavish on them. I have stricter rules when it comes to friends.

In general, these are what I consider deal-breakers (however, I probably need to own up to a few of them...so easy to see the speck in someone else's eye even with the plank in my own eye-- also, a single one does not necessarily break the deal between you and me):

1.   people inconsiderate of other people's time. i.e., people who are not punctual.
2.   people who are stingy with money. I don't mind frugality (to an extent) but I mind it when you spend money on other random things on yourself and count your pennies when it comes to spending it on others.
3.   people disinterested in religion. I think struggling with religion is very different from being totally disinterested in it. I am totally interested in those fighting the good battle.
4.   people who are bad at eye-contact. I love to look at you when I speak. I love it when you look at me.
5.   people who are stingy with time (wasting fifteen minutes talking to me won't kill you. please don't get out of sync because of a minor inconvenience).
6.   guys who are picky eaters. I think one of the most attractive traits in a guy is his ability to chow down anything with a smile and without a complaint.
7.   guys who are too politically correct (i.e., refuse to open doors or pick up my coat because they respect me as an equal. LAME).
8.   on the other hand, too much chauvinism is a deal-breaker too but interestingly, less of a deal-breaker (can slyly be masked by or...as charm).
9.   people disinterested in what I have to say (why should I be interested if you're not?)
10. guys who are too good at the interwebz (please don't be better at it than me).
11. guys who have no ambition and/or intellect.
12. ridiculously good-looking people.
13. people who disagree for the sake of disagreeing (this is me).
14. people uninterested in politics (though there is a fine line between too much interest and just enough).
15. racists.
16. people who are not presentable enough to introduce to family or friends.
17. guys who suck up to professors (sorry, double standard).
18. people who aren't on my wavelength.
19. it's actually hard for me to become your best buddy if your political beliefs feel evil and unkind to me.
20. parasites.

Disclaimer: I had to think a little too hard (i.e., things that aren't necessarily complete deal-breakers) to make sure I had twenty. Why twenty? Nice number.

school-girl moment

I think most of my huge readership are facebook friends with me. So, last semester -- I bombarded everyone's newsfeed with my "Logue" obsession. I had a crazy case of mentionitis. I took two of Prof. Logue's classes last semester. And I talked about him a lot...I thought I had graduated from this school-girl crush this semester. Especially after many people caught on to the goodness that is Prof. Logue. As mentioned earlier, I do not like to remain on a bandwagon for too long because I am not good at sharing. I'm taking Corporate Tax with him this semester. There are very few professors I trust enough to allow them to grade 10 credits. Prof. West is the other one I'm gambling (trusting) on with 10 graded credits! (He is another story for another time).

My interaction with Prof. Logue is always off. This is probably my fault since I get too nervous around him and thus I come off very unnatural. I wish I could be who I am...in front of him! I am usually a very friendly, active, eager-eyed student (mostly for Professors Kahn and Avi-Yonah). I am cold and cool-headed during Corporate Tax (or so I think). I probably look bored, disinterested, or sleepy. I'm anything but those three things. But I was totally out of character in front of Prof. Logue today. Tina, Sally, and I went to lunch at Sadako. When we had finished ordering, in came Prof. Logue with another not-important-to-me-professor to have lunch. I was sitting with my back towards (against?) him as he sat at the next table. I had a meltdown. Oh no! Do I say hi? Will he recognize me? What if he doesn't? My life would lose all meaning. Should I say hi...or should I ignore him? Oh no, oh no!

I eavesdropped on his conversation with the other guy...but it was too intelligent for me to understand. A lot about tax policy, the President, constitutionality, statutory interpretation...etc. Yeah...I was being a total creepster and eavesdropping. When we paid for our food and stood up...I made up my mind. I will say hi! Ugh, mistake.

Instead of being normal...I waved frantically, rapidly...and said "Hi, Professor!"

UGH. SCHOOL-GIRL MOMENT.

As always, Professor Kyle Logue is so gracious and kind. He waved back (less enthusiastically than me but pretty enthusiastic on a normal-scale) semi-imitating me (with the five to six times wave) and said, "Hey, how are you!" He didn't call me Ms. Kim...so I have no idea whether he recognized me or not. He might not have...who knows.

I wish I was less of a freak. What a melt-down. Tina and Sally died LOL-ing. I must recover from this before facing him on Wednesday morning.

P.S. I have another important post to write. I also am not keeping my word...about placing a strict word limit on my entries. I apologize for the length of this entry.

easter sunday

I love Easter. It is definitely my favorite Christian holiday. I like it more than Christmas. Easter defines what I believe in -- that Jesus is my Lord and Savior and He has conquered death. Anyway...today, I was at church with six of my close friends. I love Easter.  Did I say that already?

I loved the sermon today too. It was simple and beautiful. I especially loved Pastor Hayes's sentiments of what would make his last moment in life ultimately satisfying and complete. It would be Jesus calling out his name. He related it to how it feels extra-special when people who love him deeply call his name. I think this is true. I love the sound of my name. Whether it is Lily...or Ms. Kim (haha).

It's sort of like the Avatar version of "I know you." It might be a fetish...this desire to hear my name called out. I love the sound of my friends' voices! Don't you love the way that special someone says your name? Having Jesus call out your name must just be that much super-er and better.

Liz left for Philly. Now, I must go study. I wonder why I can't take today off. Afterall...my Savior Lord has risen! I wish I could take it easy on the Sabbath and keep it holy. However, I have slacked off too much. Oh, the world and its concerns! I am still such a slave.

origins was so two days ago...easter morning post

I didn't want to spend another few hours (I won't disclose how many) to figure out how to get the pictures to post correctly.

origins was so last night...

But I need to document it in some shape or form. I choose to document it with pictures since I forgot all my sentiments/words. This is why I must blog religiously on special days. I had a fun time. All I remember is talking a lot. I hope I didn't make any blunders with my big mouth.

;

So there's something that law school guys or male lawyers have...that many other guys sometimes lack. Many of them have the ability to woo with words. It's not exactly the content...but the perfect grammar, spelling, and punctuation that makes my eyes sparkle...a little. There are a lot of things I don't like about guys in law...but if there's one thing I absolutely love, it's their grasp of the English language in their writing.I am especially impressed when they use semi colons in their e-mails. I don't know how to use them properly...so I assume they're using it properly. It can be d-baggy..but at the same time...amazing? Haha. Random post.

I must go to the annual APALSA Origins Banquet! I must get ready to look presentable!

illegitimate purchases

Tina is right. I was planning on blogging about what happened yesterday (my side of the story), but yesterday is old news. She said it's hard to blog about yesterdays. I cannot dwell on the past. My side of the story is the truth. That is all you need to know.

In preparation for Liz's visit this weekend, I went to Meijer to buy some beverages. I got some bottled water, cranberry juice, and diet coke. I also got myself these:

Seven boxes of Capri-Sun! That means...seventy pouches of these good stuff! My absolute favorite is Pacific Cooler. However, like all things in life...in order to remain passionate about that flavor, I must control its supply. Unless it's somewhat scarce, I will come to take it for granted...and my love will fade. Thus, I have only two boxes of the flavor...and five boxes of other flavors that I enjoy to an extent...but allow me to miss the goodness and perfectness that is Pacific Cooler.

It's sort of like...having your favorite class only twice a week. If you had your favorite class everyday, it will no longer be your favorite class. I think I need a boyfriend who's super busy most days...and available 2-3 times a week to date me. Then, I will enjoy every moment we spend together and every text/e-mail/phone-call would be that much more special. I love longing...even though it's painful.

You definitely know your purchases are illegitimate...when you're ashamed of them. When I pulled up to the driveway, my neighbors were leaving. I had to remain in the car for a bit...before unloading my seven boxes of Capri-Sun.

eyes hurt

My eyes are killing me. They're red. They sting. They sting so much. Pink eye....?!!! Stye? Something in my eye? Dirty contacts? Too much reading? Allergies? What could it be? Stress? I look like a monster with my glasses on. Legit.