never ever trust law professors

that is all.

I am so glad I took Kyle's (Prof. Logue) exam pass-fail. I think I passed. Don't think I wrote a very good exam though. Whew.

Yay! Next semester, I will have a 4.0 semester. Every class will be pass/fail except for my research paper under Mark (Prof. West). Well...never mind. "Never ever trust law professors."

My life is sweet right now. I realized that Professors Logue and West have really cute names. One syllable first names and one syllable last names. Both their middle initials are D. I used to be torn about my fave-- but I've made up my mind. At least for now.

I am packing to move out! It's hard to pack up my 1 year and 9 months of Ann Arbor living! Hello SUMMER!

oh no

So much on mind but so little time on my hands. I must fall asleep reading my hornbook and pray that I get a C or above in corporate tax and get a PASS as my grade instead of a letter grade. I had to say my goodbyes to three people today! Sad but it's okay. Bittersweet.

I have a pretty privileged existence.

pass-fail option!

I decided to pass-fail my last exam. I am too exhausted. I have no confidence. I am burned out! Yay, best life decision this semester. I will not let K. Logue grade 10-credits of mine. He already graded 7.

MLcontinuestoS

thursday, please come.


doug, please be kind.

MLstillS

it really really sucks.

MLS

MLS = my life sucks.

Michigan Law School makes MY LIFE SUCK.

five years +/-

So sometimes, to make myself feel better, I allow myself lots of tv-time. Tina can testify but I have no shame when it comes to watching korean/japanese soaps in the Reading Room. I ain't ashamed! The amount of tv I watch is correlated in some shape or form with how my life is going. I watch a ton of tv during finals. I don't watch much tv when my life is uber-busy (exception: finals time) or my thoughts are preoccupied (exception: finals time). My tv philosophy is not...watch the most current thing...it's more like...watch a current thing and if I like someone in the show, watch everything he/she has been in (I guess the she is kind of a lie). In the beginning of the semester, a japanese actor who is five years younger than me captured my heart!

For the past few weeks, a korean actor who is 5 years older than me has preoccupied my television-time. He just came back from the army. He was a better actor in 2006 than he is now. Sad.

plus or minus five years. I remember being twenty. I wonder what thirty will be like. I don't think it'll be all that different...but I might have to act differently. Some will perceive me as so old. I used to think thirty was so so so old.

zero sum game?

when you feel slighted, you feel awful. how many people have I slighted in my life? Sorry?

anyway, this partnership tax thing is giving me a headache. the international tax exam that i took yesterday suddenly feels like a monster. i still remember what i wrote (and didn't write) for both that exam...and japanese law (which i took almost a week ago). also, corporate tax...another big fat elephant in the room i don't want to address. ugh, panic attack?

sloppy, lazy, and disorganized

I am too sloppy and disorganized to be a good law student. When I see how organized some people are...in their thinking and their outlining...and what not, I am ashamed.  I wonder if I am too sloppy and disorganized to be a good lawyer. I think I can do a good job being CEO though...big picture type of person? Okay, maybe not. But yeah.

In other news, I have two exams left! Byebye Reuven! Byebye Mark!

Hello Doug!

Hello Kyle!

Can't wait to say good-bye to Doug and Kyle. Then, I leave Ann Arbor for eight months and return in January of 2011. I feel sad but I need to leave Ann Arbor ASAP. I need to say good-bye. I need to wake up from this dream (nightmare?).

deferral?

When you take 5 tax classes, you start to hear the same terms over and over again...(good thing I took Japanese Law to balance things out or I might have gone insane).

One of the words I keep hearing/seeing is "deferral"-- friggen, taxpayers love deferring paying taxes on their income (trying to take advantage of the time value of money -- everyone who appear in my tax books are millionaires+).

Deferring payment of taxes might be good but what about deferring hope? Deferring dreams? Okay...I confess. I have nothing to blog about because the only thing I did today was eat and study. Nothing amazing happened to me besides figuring out how to determine a partnership's taxable year. Yes, I'm serious.

A few days ago (maybe a few weeks ago...the days are starting to blur) Tina sent me a speech...wrongly credited to Kurt Vonnegut. Here are some of my favorite lines from it:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You
will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at
photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much
possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You
are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead,
sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's
only with yourself.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children,
maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the
funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do,
don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

My least favorite piece of advice from the speech:

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank
statements.

FALSE. Keep your bank statements -- throw away the old love letters. What will you do with them? I love hating on the old and loving only the present and the always fabulous future. One day, you will become my old...my past...and I will despise the idea of you.

lost in translation

I tried to write an entry listing out my favorite phrases in Japanese. When you learn a language, there are certain phrases that are so awesome but once you try to translate it using google translate or your own skills, it just gets lost in translation. Too bad.

I saw Lost in Translation with Stephanie Yoshida last Thursday. It made me think a lot. Maybe sometimes...you just meet people who you connect with...and leave it at that. 


*

I want to meet someone (friend or friend+) who can identify with me in all the languages I speak...including politics and religion. I guess I am surrounded by people who speak many of the languages I speak. But how can there be someone who speaks in all my languages unless s/he was a clone of mine?

I re-discovered Kinki Kids. I remember listening to them on repeat during my commute to work in 2007-2008 to Newark. Music is weird in that it somehow stays trapped in your memories. For example, whenever I hear Tim Hughes, it makes me think of 2005.  Derek and the Dominos/Jason Mraz = 2008. Kinki Kids = 2007-2008. A lot of Mr. Children and Hillsongs this year.

direct correlation

On days I write long e-mails, my blog entries are that much shorter. There is a direct correlation. It's because instead of sharing my thoughts to you guys, I'm sharing it to one person. So when my blog entries are long, it means I'm mad lonely and wanting the world to hear me out! :)

Back to my studies!

7 credits down; 9 more to go!

ahhhh! they all end in TAX. ahhhh!

My brain is fried!

an examined life

in the literal sense.

so ready to be done with APALSA

Don't get me wrong. I loved being part of APALSA's e-board. It was fun. We got a lot done. Most of the people on e-board are my good friends! I loved being forced to hang out with them (though none of us are doormats and we made sure to voice our opinions/disagreements). But being a treasurer of such an active organization is actually a big.pain.in.the.butt.

I was basically a professional pay-the-bills-person. I hate paying my own bills. Paying APALSA bills so that members who spend money for APALSA don't go hungry or have to pay interest on their credit cards is a major responsibility. I'm also anal when it comes to other people's money. So, I guess this job was perfect for me but at the same time extremely stressful! I must make my excel spreadsheet perfect so that Sanjeet (my successor) will have a correct and amazing spreadsheet to work with. I love Sanjeet even though I don't know him. He will relieve me of my duties. I bet Barry (my predecessor) loved me last year around this time.

Freedom from APALSA-treasurer duties in less than 24 hours! I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Side-note: Today was an excellent day. Perfect last day before the onslaught of exams!

(ir)relevance / I want to be in your life?

I think becoming irrelevant in someone's life is always somewhat of a sad ordeal. I mean, it goes both ways. If I become irrelevant in someone's life, I'm sure that someone is also slowly fading in my life (Kimura Takuya's line in the drama "Pride" was that after each good-bye, memories of that person were like photographs that turned into the color sepia). The really sad situation is when it's not 100% synchronized (when one party starts earlier than the other party). I think good-byes are awkward because the link that allowed one to be relevant in another person's life disappears. I feel secure in a lot of relationships with some people. I know that even when I go far away, the link remains -- we can pick up where we left off when we meet again. However, there are good-byes that really do mean good-bye forever and ever. Becoming irrelevant and saying good-bye is something we do all the time. I guess that's how we get to become relevant to other new people (hi!). I guess if they were meant to be in my life, they'll be in my life...it happens. Wait-- I don't really believe in that 100%. I think there is a lot of human effort that is demanded in order to be in someone's life. Anyway, if they're going to fade out of my life, what can I do but express gratitude for the moments of relevance.  (Why is someone's a spelling error?)

awkward good-byes

I always find saying good-bye to be an awkward exercise. As a student, you always have to say good-bye. Yesterday was the last day I had Partnership Tax. Today was the last day I had Japanese Law (last class ever with Prof. West). Last week, I had to say good-bye to Prof. Logue -- or rather, Corporate Tax. The good-byes don't seem real until the final exams I think. Final exams serve as good formalities.  I've having a hard time saying good-bye right now-- but after I see what these Profs have in store for me via the final exam, I will probably say...heck yeah, good-bye! That's how I felt after taking my Individual Income Tax exam last semester. I have very little doubt that our good-byes will be finalized like a divorce decree the moment I see the final exams. DK, KL, MW, please be gentle. I still have two more classes with Prof. Avi-Yonah. I trust RAY to be gentle and kind. Anyway, this good-bye exercise is bittersweet-- but at the moment, I feel a sense of loss. Must.say.good-bye.

My friends (especially NC) are so good at knowing what I'm up to by what I write. Yes, I have been watching hours and hours of television last night (not 36 hours straight -- and I did manage to shower!). One thing television does for me is it puts me back into perspective. I learn how to have higher expectations. I also am able to take a step back from my life and analyze it as a viewer (which my mom told me to stop doing-- I'm too introspective, she thinks). I am uncomfortable with being alone -- but I know that I will feel lonely when I'm with someone who cares for me. No one will understand me inside-out. Maybe only JC. Bahs. Soul-mate, where are you? Is JC the only one who can understand and love my soul?

self-control

I think I have very little self-control. Well, sometimes I have a lot of it -- but most times, I have very little. Especially when there's no one else involved -- and it's just me, myself and I...I give in. When there's someone else involved, I guess I am too scared to show it all. But I get tempted to show my raw emotions. I am an open-book for you. But you're not trying to read me!

drama = reality ?

How off do you think dramas are from reality? Probably a lot...right? I just started a new Japanese drama (素直になれなくて- Hard to say I love you) and I had to pause it to blog about it. So, last week in Japanese Law, we read cases about sexual harassment (I learned that this form of discrimination can only happen in the workplace!). So Prof. W explaining a type of sexual harassment known as "quid pro quo" said the following tagline: "Baby, let me touch your hair~ I'll make you manager!" Haha, it was hilarious at the time.Well, I still think it's funny.

Anyway, my point is...those cases are 10-20 years old. This drama I am watching right now is current. It is an episode from last Thursday, the 15th of April of 2010. It's the first episode. I like(d) it. I like the stuff this drama writer has done in the past (Long Vacation, Orange Days, Beautiful Life...so many of my faves). So it's about a bunch of people in their twenties (I'm sure it's going to get all love-dovey and what not) but the part I like is how it shows these young people struggling in their professional lives. They're at the bottom of the food-chain and are stressed at being not that great at their jobs, run into major problems with colleagues and lament over their deferred dreams/hopes! My type of story.

So this upper twenty-something year old guy who works at a magazine publisher just got sexually harassed by his boss who is fat, ugly, and old AND female! Awesome. I mean, I don't condone sexual harassment in any shape or form but it's fascinating that in Japan, on prime-time, a 27-ish year old grown man is getting sexually harassed by his female boss in order to stay in the publishing division rather than the sales division. He cried after he had to kiss her. Instead of forcing herself on him, she asked him to kiss her. I guess that's how females harass males.  Dramas probably don't portray reality as it is -- but there's gotta be some correlation to truth, no? I may be delusional.

For those who are wondering, I had a fabulous time at Prof. Avi-Yonah's house. He had Zingerman's sandwiches and brownies for us! I'm done with all the work for that elective! Yay! Also, I made it to the 11:11am service. My life is complete.

preparing for a class on my Sabbath

I have a class tomorrow! Income Tax Treaties at Prof. Avi-Yonah's house. It's the Sabbath! Oh well. I have to attend class because I'm presenting tomorrow on Article 23 of the US, UN, and OECD Model Conventions (it's as exciting as it sounds). For the longest time, I thought this brunch at Professor's house ordeal/adventure was taking place on a Saturday. He had told us the date of the event in advance but it never occurred to me that it could be a Sunday.

I've never had class on a Sunday. It is also at 10am-12pm which means I can't make it to the 9:30 or 11:11 service. I have asked Michelle to drive my sister and Tina to church. I can't be their stumbling block and prevent their church attendance. Because I have firm conviction that my Lord is like a Korean-parent, He will understand that sometimes academics prevent me from keeping the Sabbath holy. Okay, I lie. He's probably not like a Korean-parent. But I treat Him like one all the time. Even though I aspire to one day truly keep the Sabbath holy, for the foreseeable future, I will spend Sundays playing catch-up, doing homework and studying. When will I learn to rest on the Sabbath?

I must now go read what I'm going to say tomorrow at the brunch-table. The topic is "Relief from Double Taxation." There is one thing I wish would happen today but it won't. My life isn't that amazing. My heart will continue to hope but I must lower my expectations!