new goal

word limit on all entries.

learning

I should probably take a stab at learning all the material I was supposed to have learned the past 2-3 months. I can't afford to not learn the stuff I'm taking or else...I'll become a pretty shabby lawyer in the future and/or intern over the summer. I feel so behind in life but I know I shouldn't. I should learn to be more thankful with what I have. That is all for tonight, faithful reader(s).

embracing defeat

There are some goals that were never meant to be accomplished. Not everyone can be like JC and go "It is finished!" Thus my goal of going to the gym seven times and keeping my nails maintained -- they'll remain as goals. I don't want to be perfect or anything. Hah. Anyway, that is my lame excuse for not having gone to the gym today as planned.

I guess the higher power knew I was going to adopt this laze-attitude and punished me by making me forget my keys at school. I walked home and to my dismay found that I didn't have my keys with me. I walked back to school and received a text from Nick that I had left it at a meeting. Bahs. So I walked about 1.5 miles today.

But the food sins I committed from 8:30am to 8:30pm are ridiculous. I had a breakfast sandwich from the snackbar at the law school. I was too hungry to take a picture. It's basically an english muffin (buttered) with ham, cheese, and eggs. I also had a sugary drink with that.

For lunch, because I have a heart for Haiti...and because I love soul food, I bought a plate from BLSA's fundraiser.

After my double-walk from school, I had another cup of ice cream. Then, I surfed wikipedia for about 3-4 hours. I learned a lot about North Koreans kidnapping Koreans and the Japanese. Then, I went to dinner with Tina and Mina and the Veenstras and committed more crimes against my goals of obtaining a majide nice body.

I am embracing defeat. Also, I regret having eaten pork. I loved my dish but it is slowly killing me...I must go lay on my bed.

perspective 1 - ice cream might not be worth it

For dinner I had a sandwich with eggs, turkey, and cheese. As always, I must end on a sweet note. So I had a 3.6oz cup of ben and jerry's.

In order to fulfill my February goals, I went to the gym (two more times till 7!!). I know the machines are inaccurate when tracking the number of calories you're actually burning. However, I was alarmed at how slow I was at burning calories in the general sense (disregarding the impreciseness of the machines).

It says 200 calories on the ice cream cup. It says 133 calories after my toil of 26 minutes on the machine. I ate that cup of ice cream in less than 2 minutes. WOES.

Maybe I should reflect and think hard before I shove food into my mouth. I am regretting all my eating transgressions today. I committed quite a lot of eating sins today.

Or maybe, I should embrace defeat and continue shoving food into my mouth and give up on my dreams of having a majide nice body.

Lent

While I don't always give up something for Lent, I sometimes do. I don't remember what I gave up for Lent last year so I'm assuming that I didn't give up anything. I remember having given up xanga, facebook, and aim in the past. This year, I gave up the hours of television watching to the extent it exceeds a daily allowance of one hour. I decided to limit myself to one hour of television everyday instead of giving it up entirely. Yes, I am a wuss.

Strangely, having made that decision, my life has been too busy or alternatively, I've been too lazy (to watch tv! imagine that!), to watch any television. Since Lent started, I haven't watched a single episode of my countless drama and/or show episodes. I have been tv-free!

I'm not Catholic so Lent to me isn't as important as Easter is. There is a difference, I think. Not sure how to express it intelligently. Anyhow, while I've replaced my excessive television watching vice with other vices (like blogging...), it's always nice to participate in a self-improvement project. But I'm sometimes not sure if I'm doing it in contemplation of Jesus .... or in order to test my self-will and restraint of that self-will.

My feet are still wet from trucking through the snow. Today has been a nice day because Professor Avi-Yonah canceled class. What a lovely, lovely, lovely man. Now, I must complete my FAFSA. Ick.

february goals

big goal: go to the gym....err (I have to be conservative here) 7 times in Feb! (maybe this was way too conservative...)

medium goal: donate blood. I'm not good at being active in life but I'm darn good at keeping appointments. I made an appointment to donate blood next Monday! This is part of my bigger goal of 2010 of becoming a more active and involved human being.

small goal: keep nails polished. I let them become disgusting...letting them fade (or more accurately...chip off)naturally. It looks hideous so I must practice the art of maintaining my nails nice and polished! Must be less laze, one nail at a time!


great thing about being single: I never go over minutes in my phone plan. I have unlimited texts...but no one texts me (except for the transactional-- (1) what time? (2) when? (3) where? (4) ok).

sad thing about being single: the only person who calls me for idle-chat is my mom. Even my mom doesn't call me that often anymore. Every other phone-call (unless a friend is having problems or I'm having problems) is transactional in nature lasting less than 60 seconds. A sample of my recent phone-calls (when I say recent...I mean...past month) were related to Haiti-relief efforts from automated machines, customer service, and food-delivery people informing me that they were at the door with my food.

procrastination

It's January and I'm already falling behind in my work! Where did my plans to get my studying done early go? I have so much to do this week including submitting my Study Abroad Proposal. I have mixed feelings about going abroad. I really really want to go but staying in Ann Arbor might also work out. I could enjoy some grade inflation rather than take mandatory pass/fail classes. We'll see. I hope Prof. West says yes when I ask him if he'd be my 3-credit independent study adviser.

I told Tina this but professor-student relationships are so awkward. It's very hard to click...because professors are so risk adverse to start off with...and the relationship demands professionalism.  I am a professional teacher's pet but it has been harder to be as good of a teacher's pet in college and grad school. I totally mastered it in high school. I will keep trying.

"20대는 양으로 승부하는 시대이다."

일기를 쓰는 습관을 가져보려고 한다. 하루에 원고지 한장을 채우라는데...이 걸로 대신 해보겠다.

영어, 한글 사이트들을 뒤져서...20대가 해야 할 것들...등에 대해 검색해 보았다. 많은 어드바이스가 있었다.

나의 나이 24세. 아직도 어린데...초조해 하고 있다.

내가 무엇을 할 수 있을까...내가 무엇을 하고 싶은가?

20대는 양으로 승부하는 시대라고 한다.

나 자신에게는 엄격한 기준을 적용할 수 있을까?

지금으로서는...시간낭비 (티비 시청) 을 하면서...나 자신에게 너무나도 엄격하지 못한 나다.

자투리 시간도 활용하자.

작심삼일이라 해도...계속 작심삼일 해보겠다.



LHK