blogging for myself and anyone who cares to read my babbles

The following is an excerpt from my second to last entry in xanga (2003-2006) on May 19, 2006:


"Junior year of college..is over. Junior year of high school feels like yesterday and 10 years ago simultaneously (but different moments hold different weights). Certain moments feel as though it happened yesterday while other moments...I have no recall whatsoever. Fall semester was a lot of fun. Spring semester....was interesting. Actually, interesting isn't the right word to use. It was overwhelming. Too much work, too much work, too much work. I met a lot of different people.....from work....from school. People came in and out of my life-- I had to be ten different versions of myself for the different people in my life....not to fake myself or anything but it is necessary. You put on different hats....for work, for school, for family, for friends, for semi-friends, for special people, for quasi-interests, for random encounters..."

I think I'm still the same person. For the most part, I am where I am supposed to be according to my plans in 2006. I was just starting to study for my LSATs and here I am in law school.

The excerpted portion is interesting because I made a pact to myself that I would finally let go of one of the ghosts mentioned in 2006 only recently. I was vague about who I'm talking about back in 2006 and I will continue to be as vague.

Anyway, I'm going to give blogging another shot. It won't be private because I don't think many people will read it. People who will read it are the people who I don't mind sharing my babbles. Quick story (confession-style for my first entry for my thirty year old self).

In my second semester of college (freshman year, 2004), I fell in love (?) with a boy at first sight. I had the biggest crush on someone who I hadn't even spoken a word to. After I found out his name, I performed a google search on him (a combination of his name and "Stern NYU") and discovered his xanga. JACK-POT! There were two years or so worth of blog entries. He was an avid blogger who poured out his soul on his xanga. Lucky me! For an amateur stalker, that was truly a great find. There were hundreds of entries. His xanga was his diary (obviously Asian-American). I read them all (seriously)in one sitting. I let my roommates read them and sent them over to Sally as well. That was kind of creepy of me.

I learned so much about him just by reading his blog. I'm sure the people who I shared the entries with also feel this way. He had almost no discretion. I never became his friend though later we would become acquaintances. One day, during the last weeks of freshman year, I happened to be in the same elevator with him. Just the two of us. I thought it was so strange how much I knew about him while he only vaguely knew who I was. It was a quiet elevator ride. As I saw him leave the elevator, I thought to myself...wow, life is so lame. Nothing like the movies.

Two years later, I was formally introduced to him (so, I could be on a hello-basis with him) by another boy. Anyway, I think the point of the story is...though I know there is no one out there performing an active, aggressive, stalker-like google-search on me, I want to be as open as he was and let anyone who is interested have some informational advantage. Well...it'll probably be only me five years later reading my old entries and giggling at how immature I was.

So here goes my blog for myself and anyone interested in my babbles.